


Once...

by Mayday_Hoover



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Androids, Artificial Intelligence, Developing Relationship, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Muteness, Platonic Romance, Post-Canon, Romance, just a bit of sugar mommy i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 25,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22893448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayday_Hoover/pseuds/Mayday_Hoover
Summary: Unreally fluffy drabble collection. Translation of my own fanfic, actually, so I apologize in advance. There will be rly little part of other characters, though. And partly reverse!AU.
Relationships: Chell/GLaDOS
Comments: 8
Kudos: 131





	1. The nightmare

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Однажды...](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/622819) by Мэйдэй Хувер. 



Once GLaDOS woke up in a cold sweat. Figuratively, of course. She had nor sebaceous glands to sweat, neither human body so that there was something to get tired and fall asleep.  
However, she sometimes allowed herself to relax for a few minutes (or hours) and to suspend her endless activities. Then she sank into a state that could be compared to a nap.  
Sometimes there were dreams. Either it was a mishmash of fragments of records from all the cameras of the complex, or the probability generator was junk, but sometimes dreams were odd.

Sometimes there were nightmares. Like this one, in which a glass elevator under a choir of turrets ascended to the sky, taking away astonished blue eyes and all the freshness of the local air.

" _So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting_ ".

AI lowered the optic and allowed herself a quiet sigh of relief. The bed slightly disturbed the interior of the control room, but it calmed her. At least this room will not collapse to hell, forming a lake of toxic liquid, or a bottomless pit, or something else. Of course, GLaDOS controls all this, but still the complex is huge, and the destruction in it too.

Her movements were probably too loud. Or the test subject’s sleep is too sensitive.  
Chell lifted her head from the pillow and gazed sleepily up at the yellow optic that was spinning nervously from side to side.  
"It's all right”, AI lied a little. There was a sensation of dryness in the throat. Metaphorical dryness in a nonexistent throat. "Keep sleeping. I made eight new test chambers, you will need a lot of energy".  
Chell reached out as far as she could, leaning on the head of the bed, and lightly stroked the white body of GLaDOS' faceplate. AI hesitated a few moments in order to move away to the side and a little up.  
"No tendernesses. I’m not a kitten for you".  
Test subject smiled softly and flopped back into bed. The floor panels below her moved a little, as if rocking a girl, and everything was quiet.


	2. The cube

Once GLaDOS said "no" 497 times. In a row, without speech acceleration and almost non-stop. But with Chell, such a psychological attack failed, and she continued to hug pretty burnt Companion cube stubbornly.  
"No", - repeated the AI, pretty sorry that she could not imitate an annoyingly wrinkled face. This crazy woman could well perceive non-verbal signals better than verbal ones. "We will not adopt a companion cube. Enough of me for letting you sleep in the control room".  
Test subject snorted disagreeably. She sat up and began eagerly rubbing the dirty edge of the cube with her slightly less dirty shirt.  
"I can even argue my point of view with several reasons why your request is untenable", - GLaDOS continued her thought, watching the fabric rubbing a dirty stain on the cube, and quite a bit - the skin visible from beneath the hem. "First, the cube is neither a rational, nor even a living creature. It cannot be adopted purely physically. Secondly, you have some mental abnormalities that will not give you the right to adopt. And I am a robot. What is this circus for?"

Chell stubbornly pursed her lips and dropped her chin onto the cube. GLaDOS sighed loudly.  
"If you just want to leave the companion cube - put it near the bed, I won't mind, so be it. And if you want to play dolls, then I'd better reprogram one of the turrets to you. At least they can speak. They will tell you “mother”, “give”, at least “order, madam”. What do you think?"  
Chell pouted her lips. In her case, it expressed the protest against the brutal tyranny of the omnipotent tyrant. Again AI really wanted to have a face with human facial expressions, so that she could also be a little more expressive for this mute lunatic.  
"Good, good, dear. If you at least somehow manage to arrange all this - please, dear. But keep in mind that the adoption operation requires a lot of papers and a guardianship worker. Least. And I greatly simplify the procedure so that you..."  
Chell suddenly jumped out of bed, carefully covered the cube with a blanket, menacingly glanced right into the yellow light, grabbed the portal gun and rushed to the exit from the control room. The door silently opened and closed. There was a motion sensor in it for a long time, because GLaDOS was tired of constantly monitoring the door.  
"Neither “hello” nor “goodbye,” muttered GLaDOS and looked at the Cube. "And all because of you. There was no need to introduce companions to her. I would really burn you, if you and I weren’t her only friends".

Fields of anti-expropriation have long been deactivated. Although even after Chell solemnly signed a contract with a green felt-tip pen that the girl would not drag any garbage to the GLаDOS room. But the AI generously conceded to her test subject all the observation rooms for test chambers and the offices in general.  
GLaDOS was busy rebuilding a pair of test chambers and calibrating the filtering process of defective turrets. She did not somehow notice how the door opened and closed again.  
"Already back?" - the optic gave Chell a quick look, and GLaDOS had to turn to her completely in order to believe her “eye”. "What did I say about the trash in the control room?"  
Leaving the portal gun at the threshold, Chell dragged one of the turrets with her. For some reason, this turret was marked with the inscription "Oracle" on the sides. Under her arm, the girl held a pile of sheets of paper.  
"Let me guess", GLaDOS simulated fatigue in her voice. "You seriously will not leave your venture with a cube?"  
Chell threw up her head and carefully, without blinking, stared directly into the yellow "eye". This dumb duel lasted for half a minute, while the AI calculated and considered all possible options for the development of events. Finally she sighed.  
"Excellent. As you wish. But personally, I am not going to take part in the “upbringing” and “care” of this test equipment".  
Test subject shone, threw a frightened turret and papers (it seems that these were some forms and reports of Aperture Science) and jumped to clasp her arms around the white body of GLaDOS' faceplate. Then she began to scribble on old records something that was vaguely reminiscent of documents for adoption. Very vaguely. Then she forced the Oracle turret to stain one ink stand and strike it on paper, after which the girl dragged the ill-fated "document" to GLaDOS.  
"This is the last satisfied request for today", - AI's voice sounded displeased. But the manipulator emerging from under the floor nevertheless drew a small “G”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahah... yes


	3. The palm

Once a couple of working androids were sent down to the furnace turned off. GLaDOS sent another couple in search of offices and locker rooms.  
"Better not come back if nothing is found, otherwise I will have to make more advanced robots of you", - she admonished them and shut the service door tightly.

Chell carefully scrubbed the side of the Companion Cube with someone else's old toothbrush. She did this every day, spending on one side about two days. So almost a week passed already, during which the laser burn she received on the last test almost healed. This time GLaDOS was even glad that she agreed to the stupid idea with the adoption of Cube - at least test subject did not miss her sudden sick leave.  
"You could do self-development for once. Read books. Learn to draw circles without a compass. But instead, you are doing an absolutely useless thing. Even a simple conversation with me would raise your IQ by a couple of points", - AI bothered the girl. Chell just waved it off, occasionally brushing the edge of the GLaDOS' head with a brush.  
With nothing to do, AI built several more new test chambers - without lasers and toxic waste. For turrets placed according to a certain pattern, bullets were replaced with small plastic balls. It hurts, but not fatal. Of course, only until the test subject fully recovers from such a serious, almost fatal injury as a second-degree hip burn.  
"Do not underestimate your own injuries, - GLaDOS noticed when the girl lovingly wrapped her Companion Cube in a blanket and began to wind up circles around the control room. - Do not run too fast. Do not run too long. Of course, this is a great way to lose weight, but I'm afraid it will not help you".  
Chell waved her hand, flopped to the floor and lay down, arms outstretched to the sides, breathing deeply and smiling happily. GLaDOS once again decided that girl's brain had been completely damaged, and returned to the construction of test chambers.

" _...Marie bit her lip, and the shiny diamonds of tears trembled on her eyelashes. Joel gently ran a finger along the girl’s lower lip and stroked her silky soft hair..._ ".  
"Dilettantism", - AI turned the page with the manipulator and continued reading. The novel, found by androids in the personal belongings of one of the employees, turned out to be a very mediocre fantasy melodrama. But now GLaDOS needed at least such a theoretical basis.  
When Chell returned from a brand new test chamber, GLaDOS moved tiles near her bed.  
"You just in time, - conveniently rearranged floor slabs moved apart, and another manipulator rose near the bed. It looked like an almost real hand, albeit a metal one, mounted on a high stand. The test subject looked cautiously at the AI-made thing and took a tiny little step towards the bed. - Come closer and put the portal gun. This is my new experiment".  
Chell touched the “hand” and glanced inquiringly at GLaDOS. The "hand" extended in the direction of the girl and poked her on the cheek with the index finger.  
"This is an additional way to interact with the outside world. If you are still able to perceive at least semi-scientific terms, then I can explain to you the principle of its work, - AI's optic shone directly on the girl. Chell made a resentful face, flopped down on the bed, face into the pillow, and pulled a blanket over her head. AI mentally grinned. - So you are capable. So, while you were recovering from such a stupid injury, I designed sensory sensors for this manipulator. About one hundred sensors are located on each finger, fifty on the inside of the palm. Thus, I can get tactile information about the object, or, more simply, feel the object by touch. Although the "feel", of course, is said too much. First of all, I would like to experiment with you as the closest and most convenient object of study".  
Chell peered out from under the covers. She looked perplexed. GLaDOS extended her “arm” and raised the blanket.  
"Darling, nothing cruel and dangerous. I need to get information about the texture of your skin. And hairline. I already have information about your DNA".  
The girl sat down, already with interest in her eyes. The "hand" reached out to her, fingers slightly open.  
"It is advisable that your hand touch the largest possible area of the palm".  
Chell twisted her fingers with an artificial “hand” and smiled. GLaDOS immediately transferred the optic to one of the screens located on the walls and pretended to be very busy with some calculations.

Chell's hand was rough, dry, but generally soft. The AI was a little angry that it was impossible to read more information through such imperfect sensors.  
"Enough, - the "hand" released Chell's palm and hung lifelessly on its "pedestal". - I have enough information for analysis so far".  
Chell looked anxiously at GLaDOS's head and again grabbed her “palm”.  
"Stop playing with the equipme..." - AI lowered the optic. Sensors on the inside and back of the hand recorded a touch of soft, cool skin.  
Chell rubbed her cheek on "arm" and smiled like a fool.  
"Johnson, why do I need all this? - the head of the complex raised a “hand” and gently stroked the girl’s face with the very tips of her fingers. Somewhere in the central GLaDOS processor, electric sparks seemed to run through. - Remember, this is not a toy. And I'm not going to try this manipulator on you all the time".  
The test subject grinned and put her head in "hand".


	4. The bird

Once a quiet whisper cut through the silence of the night.  
"Test subject? Test subject?.."  
Chell barely moved and hid deeper under the covers. Something creaked, and a mechanical voice called plaintively, almost with a tear: "Chell?"  
Chell flinched and sat abruptly on the bed. The yellow optic shone directly on her, and the GLaDOS body froze in a strange pose.  
"Chell, there is a bird", - almost crying (judging by the tone, of course), complained AI. Chell looked closely, and when her eyes got a little used to the darkness, she saw a pigeon sitting quietly on the top of the GLaDOS' head body. This surprised the girl a little, but she got on the bed and tried to drive the bird away. The pigeon, however, did not pay attention to some sleepy girl in orange pants.  
"Kill this bird, - the voice of AI became completely miserable. - She will pop a nest in my circuits and peck out the optic. Che-e-ell!"  
The girl jumped silently from the bed and, like a cat, crept onto the bridge from which she climbed onto the robot. Having made her way to the main body, holding on to thick wires and fasteners, Chell quickly grabbed a pigeon. It turns out that it simply slept, and in the hands of a girl hysterically fluttered its wings.  
"Kill the bird!" - screamed GLaDOS. Chell slipped from her faceplate onto the bed, tightened her grip on the pigeon wings and beak so that the bird would not break out, and strode to the exit of the room.

She returned after half an hour, rubbing her eyes and periodically touching the scratch on her palm. The girl was immediately pushed with floor tiles to the bed, and they lifted Chell to the very GLaDOS' optic.  
"Did you kill her? - AI asked with pressure. The test subject waved a soothing hand. - Good. This dirty bird ... Ugh".  
Chell reached forward and hugged the GLaDOS faceplate. This time the AI did not try to get away from the hug.  
"This is terrible. We’ll have to re-check the integrity of the complex, especially the ceiling structures and ventilation", - she muttered. Chell giggled, but not maliciously, and lightly touched the yellow optic with her lips. This somewhat sobered GLaDOS.  
"Thanks for the help with the bird, - AI creaked dryly and instantly lifted the faceplate higher. Chell regretfully had to release her. - I would have done it myself if the program for preserving self-control did not turn off when these disgusting creatures appeared every time. This is probably a code error. Don’t worry, when I finish it, any bird that flies here will be doomed".  
Chell shrugged. She just reached one of the distant holes in the walls of the complex through which all these plants, rain, air penetrated into it ... Surely GLaDOS knew about their existence, but still the complex was huge. And very, very old.  
The test subject still was proud of her scientist - most of Aperture Laboratories was in her full power.  
And the girl released the pigeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suddenly I remembered TAWoG's titles  
> that's a coincidence I promise ahah  
> also I hope you won't be against two chapters in one day  
> ...and I do not really understand the features of English punctuation, so I apologize for the half-Russian design of direct speech


	5. The dinner

Once Chell did not return for dinner. That is, she could have lunch at any time, whenever she wanted to eat, it was enough to ask GLaDOS (that was surprisingly courteous in relation to the test subject). However, the AI was already used to the fact that usually the girl would return to the control room around noon.  
Between 12:01 and 14:34.  
And it was already 14:40.

Now, passing through the repaired corridor between chambers 25 and 30, the girl suddenly disappeared from the cameras.  
GLaDOS suggested that the girl climbed into the compartment behind the panels of the corridor. Then it remained only to suspend the repair, so that the Chell would not accidentally get hit by a panel, and wait until she herself returned.  
" _By the way, decent people come to dinner on time_ , - as if by chance AI noticed into the microphone. Of course, no one answered her. - _You should not be allowed to walk alone_ ".  
GLaDOS set up all the cameras in that corridor to pick up movements and went about her business, closing a plastic bowl of synthetic spaghetti for Chell with a plastic cap.

By 16:28, Chell had still not returned. No, actually, given how long the test subject wandered in search of GLaDOS in their first meeting, it was not worth worrying.  
But the AI was worried for some reason.  
" _You better get back before five o'clock. Otherwise, spaghetti will fly into the garbage chute_ , - GLaDOS once again checked all the cameras and added, - _synthetic spaghetti with artificial meatballs, test subject. Your favorite synthetic food_ ".

At 17:01, the AI turned on all android workers at all levels of the complex and sent them in search. Also, all cameras were configured to detect movement.  
" _This is very rude of you, young lady_ , - GLaDOS could not stand it, but I had to turn on the tone of a caring mom. Sometimes it helped in communicating with the subject. Perhaps its orphanage affected. - _Stop ignoring me, and if you are able to get to the elevator, immedia..._ "  
AI suddenly felt insanely painful - somehow strange, vividly pricked for one whole two hundredths of a second, somewhere deep in the mainframe.  
No one could guarantee that the floor had not fallen under her boots into a greenish chemical slurry. Even GLaDOS could only be 99.998% confident in the floor outside her room.  
"Respond to me, - AI mentally asked. - Stupid test subject".

" _Chell_ ".  
Five minutes later:  
" _Chell_ ".  
Another five minutes later:  
" _Chell..._ "  
The rooms were not designed. Repair schemes for ventilation shafts did not want to be drawn.  
GLaDOS was worried and bored.  
Dinner on a raised panel has long cooled.  
Suddenly the camera gave a signal. AI immediately jumped up and looked into the corridor. Chell got out from behind the pushed panels, yawning and straightening her shirt, hugging the portal gun.  
At first, the AI was happy, then got angry, and then silently traced the girl all the way to the control room.

"This is extremely rude, - said the queen of the complex. Chell raised an eyebrow. - Ruder than when you tried to kill me. I care about you anyway".  
The test subject sat on her bed and reached for the spaghetti, but the plate with them slid smoothly to one side.  
"Now they have to be heated. Or I have to cook new ones. Wait here", - GLaDOS squeaked creakily and put the plate somewhere under the floor. Chell swayed in place.  
"Well, where have you been? - AI made her voice the most unhappy. The girl folded her hands under one cheek, closed her eyes and pretended to snore. - ...Oh. It’s even more rude to fall asleep between tests. In punishment for this you will go to bed at exactly nine. This is not discussed".


	6. The fawn

Once Chell dragged a faded, tattered backpack into the control room. AI, which was already tired that its space, contrary to orders, was filled with all sorts of unnecessary junk, dryly asked: "What is this garbage?"  
Girl fiddled with the backpack and showed the patch in the form of the Aperture logo. GLaDOS once again regretted that she could not sarcastically roll her eyes for lack of these.  
"Must I be enthralled by what you show?"  
Chell somehow opened the zipper, which almost crumbled into rusty dust, and with a kind of hard-to-describe amazed sound pulled something rectangular and shiny from the backpack. Most of all, it looked like a container made of gray metal.  
"Here you go. After all that I did for you, did you decide to blow me up?" - GLaDOS grinned and, using the manipulator, took the container from Chell. - "Do not open something that has at least a one percent chance of killing you".  
Chell pouted and went back to digging in the backpack. It must have belonged to an employee and was the direct product of Aperture, since it had not turned to ashes for all these years.  
AI allowed the girl to do nonsense and carefully sent the container through the transport pipe to the laboratory for scanning.

The test subject insidiously used her right to fill up the bed with unnecessary garbage and, in fact, did just that. In the backpack, the girl found a solid piece of woody mold in a bag, a plastic case from a ballpoint pen, a broken mobile phone and glasses without glasses.  
Chell moved her "son" companion closer to the bed, spread her wealth on it and began to sort it out with the curiosity of a four-year-old child.  
"I think you need an advanced psychotherapy course", - GLaDOS noticed, below, in the laboratory, masterfully opening the container lock. The scanner did not find anything dangerous inside. - "But since turrets are bad psychiatrists, and I'm busy with more important things, then I will give you more toys. This is all from your container".  
A transport pipe fell over a Companion cube, sneezed dust at it and poured the contents of a metal box.  
A yellowed but whole book, a deer antler keychain and a toy.  
Chell froze in indecision, not knowing what to take first, but finally her fingers squeezed a soft toy paw. It was a fawn, similar to Bambi, only a more natural and pretty look. And it had very small cloth horns.  
The girl turned the toy and stared inquiringly at GLaDOS.  
"This is a deer", - AI said succinctly. - "More precisely, a baby deer. Fawn".  
Chell stared at the fawn, as if at a Companion cube the first time they met. GLaDOS carefully, so as not to disturb the stupor of her lunatic, pulled out several devices and checked the toy for radioactivity, the content of flammable materials and a few more things that could harm an already fragile human.  
"Safe", - she concluded, and nudged the girl slightly from the back with her "palm". - "Do you hear me?"  
Chell nodded and pressed the fawn to her. She obviously was not going to part with him for the next couple of weeks. The AI only snorted to show the subject his attitude to her quirks.  
"If you lose it, I won’t search".

While Chell and her new pet were walking around the complex, looking for adventure, GLaDOS looked after her with one eye... Figuratively speaking, of course, and with the other she watched the written lines of code for an advanced palm-manipulator control program. At the same time, one standard manipulator crawled with a relatively clean rag along the companion cube, cleaning it from dust. AI always wiped the cube only when it was 100% certain that the test subject would not enter the control room in the next five minutes.  
With the third “eye” - a small camera - she enthusiastically studied the contents of the book from the container.  
"...from vinegar they stifle, from mustard they are upset, from soup they mock..." - she read. - "What are the unscientific conclusions this girl makes. Although they are more logical than Chell’s actions".  
Somewhere outside, on the approaches to the control room, one of the non-automatic doors slammed. AI hastily removed the manipulator with a rag and slammed the book, annoyed at herself for her hobby for reading.  
"Walked up?" - GLaDOS asked mockingly, raising the optic to the test subject. Girl's lips trembled, as if she was an offended child, and she pressed the toy to her chest carefully, like a kitten.  
"What happened again?" - GLaDOS asked in an impassive tone. The girl raised the fawn higher, as if in some kind of melodrama. It had a side torso spread out, as if a toy had caught on the sharp edge of something, and a grayish cotton wool sticking out inaccurate pieces.  
"So what? Do you have a tantrum because of your own sloppiness?" - AI took the toy with the manipulator. Chell sat on the bed with a very sad look. - "It's easy to fix".  
The pipe rustled a little over the cube and spat out a plastic box with a sewing kit.  
However, GLaDOS had to read the test subject aloud so that she finally calms down and does not cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I confess, there should have been a quote from Alice in Wonderland, but I have no idea how it sounds in English. In Russian, the pun is different, of course.


	7. The sea

Once GLaDOS took a great interest in building something that didn’t look much like a test chamber. She developed this "something" for about a month, and built it even longer. Chell burned out of curiosity, but her access to it was strictly forbidden "for an indefinite period". Despite this, once the girl managed to peep, as a bunch of something golden rustled through the transport pipes under the ceiling.

Chell already labeled one working android with a green marker - she tinted in this way already with a dozen to distinguish between these cute nameless pawns. The “green” dragged a neatly stacked white elastic fabric. The girl in bewilderment glanced at the AI, whose two manipulators removed roulette from her box with sewing accessories for the Fawn.  
"Enough time has passed since your last medical examination", - GLaDOS noticed, spinning a roulette under the girl’s chest. - "I need to take measurements again, and I’m reluctant to lead you to the medical unit".  
However, for some reason, she limited herself to measuring Chell's chest, waist and hips.

"Can you swim?" - the speaker suddenly asked. Chell, not stopping while walking along the light bridge with a weighted cube, shrugged. - "I ask because I'm thinking of adding this element to some test chambers. And maybe a couple of mechanical sharks".

One night, Chell dreamed that she was sitting on a raft in the middle of a strangely green sea, which looked more like toxic waste from test chambers. However, this sea at least did not stink of toxins, and Chell actually did not know what the real sea looks like. The girl dropped her hand and touched the liquid - it was warm, and the nostrils were pinched from the smell of salt.  
The sea went in waves, and the bed swayed. Chell glanced up - there was an infinitely blue sky with no signs of cloudiness and something huge and yellow right above it.  
The test subject narrowed her eyes and put her hand to her forehead in the manner of a visor. The yellow optic was slightly covered by a protective black plate.  
"It's time to reduce your daily dose of adrenaline in the air. You started to sleep terribly restlessly", - she said.  
Chell sighed in surprise and woke up.  
Her bed was floating somewhere on the cargo panel along the corridor. GLaDOS' yellow optic looked at her from the screen following the panel on the ceiling.  
"You ruined the surprise", - the AI was slightly offended. - "However, we already know that you are a terrible person, so I am not surprised. We assume that this was scenario B".  
The panels suddenly parted, and Chell's bed flopped into something soft and bright. The girl jumped off the bed, and in the room where she was dragged, bright and unexpectedly warm lamps were lit.  
Underfoot was golden sand that filled half of the room. The other half was filled with clear water.  
Chell was struck by a familiar salty smell in her nostrils.  
"Surprise", - the screen came out from under the sand next to the bed. - "My calendar shows that now is July, one of the hottest months of the year. In this area, at least. Some people, _most of them_ , take a vacation at work at this time of the year and go to the sea. Well, since you are the only human here, I decided to take you a vacation as a good boss. And I made you the sea".  
The subject in admiration touched the sand, turned her head, studying the walls painted in blue panels, smiled broadly and hugged the screen tightly. Since it did not touch her, the AI did not begin to remove or pull it off.  
"You have two swimsuits to choose from under your pillow", - she said. Chell pulled the fabric from under the pillow, turned it a little in her hands and began to undress. - "Of course, I do not have real sea water", - AI began to lay out all the scientific ins and outs, poorly hiding her pride in her voice. - "Therefore, I took the one that was pumped out of the lower levels of the laboratory. I filtered it eight times, enriched it with iodine, heated it and stirred thirty-two packs of table salt..."  
The test subject, who was no longer listening, went to the even edge of the sand strip - thick glass separated the sand from the water, protruding about ten centimeters of them - and, holding her nose, "stepped" into her deep salty aquarium.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quite dreamy chapter, huh  
> but isn't GLaDOS the miracle


	8. The L word

Once, digging into the lockers of Aperture Science employees, Chell found a magazine in unopened cellophane packaging. A woman in a latex policeman flaunted on the cover and licked her lips invitingly.  
Chell stiffened slightly, for some reason looked around and put the magazine right under the shirt.

"I made new bedding for you", - GLaDOS said suddenly. Chell dropped the cup from which the Companion was being watered. - "Do not be surprised. One of the old kits drowned in liquid waste when I destroyed... Something. In addition, if you remember, I am magnificent not only in science, but also in housekeeping. Despite the lack of hands".  
Chell grunted and jumped out of bed. Statements about new things usually meant for her about half an hour simple, but interesting in solving test chambers. Similarly, in the control room a little earlier appeared two pots with strange wild plants "to improve the psychological situation", a small home-made stove for heating food by the girl herself, and a funny tin crescent on the back of her bed.  
And now one of the panels pushed the portal gun towards the girl.  
"Go for a walk for now".

At night, tossing and turning on fresh sheets, Chell remembered a magazine pushed between two mattresses of her antediluvian bed. The girl put her hand under the upper mattress, rummaged under it a little, trying not to attract the attention of AI, pulled out a magazine and began to look at it.  
The cover woman looked at Chell very invitingly. The test subject thought for a moment, removed the cellophane from the magazine and opened it.

After half an hour, the “arm” manipulator pulled back the blanket with a sharp movement.  
"What are you doing here instead of sleeping?" - GLaDOS asked a little tiredly. Chell, blushing and giggling like a child, showed AI a magazine spread with a naked woman in the bath. In parts, foam covered woman's body, but these were not the parts that needed censorship.  
"Do you read erotica?" - the yellow optic was slightly covered by a protective plate. The expression of the “face” of the AI resembled a skepticism. - "More precisely, frank pornography".  
Chell shrugged.  
"You don't know what "pornography" is, do you?"  
The girl nodded.  
"Well, good. I will not explain. But I will permit you to read such literature only under my supervision".  
Chell nodded in agreement and turned the page. After the photo from the bathroom there was a photo where two ladies were sitting next to each other in overly open sweaters and with long striped lollipops in their mouths.

"And do you like these photos?" - GLaDOS lowered faceplate just below. The test subject spread her hands and furtively wiped the corner of her lips. - "I see", - GLaDOS concluded for herself. What exactly she saw, she did not begin to specify.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the other L word, Scott


	9. The cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well since suddenly there is vacation  
> why not translating more

Once Chell did not talk with GLaDOS all day. Not that she would not try to make sounds with her mouth, like a laugh or a surprised moo, but simply ignored the AI. AI tried to keep calm until the very end, teasing the test subject: "It seems you will soon pupate. Only caterpillars before metamorphosis can be so lethargic and closed. However, maybe you will finally turn into something worthwhile? Not a butterfly, so at least a moth. Then I will put you in a glass jar and will study the effect of portals on huge humanoid insects".  
But Chell did not answer. Instead, she sat on the bridge leading to the body of GLaDOS, and stared at her boss in focus. AI twisted a little and said in a thin voice: "Well, and how, does this case make me fat?"  
But Chell did not answer again. Then GLaDOS turned to her and began to shine a yellow light on the girl right in the face.  
"You know that I won’t be the first to blink. I don’t blink at all. And if you do not blink for a long time, then your eyes will dry".  
Chell finally reacted - pursed her lips in resentment, hugged her knees, fell over on her side and turned away.  
GLaDOS began to worry.  
"Do you feel bad? The medical examination was only two weeks ago. Did you manage to become infected with something during this time, you klutz?"  
The girl, all this time taking out something from her overalls, put out her hand with a piece of paper, like a flag. AI focused on her clumsy handwriting.  
" _Cake is a lie_ "  
"Is that all?" - the AI would sigh if she could, but it still made a sigh sound. - "You mute lunatic. All this time I restored the complex and made sure that you did not scald in acid. When did I have time to bake you cakes?"  
Chell sniffed offendedly. This AI could not tolerate.  
"Good, good, extortionist. I will descend to tear myself away from advancing the technological level of the whole of mankind and make a cake for this little egoist".

It was easier, of course, to say than to do. AI had to turn to such long-forgotten fields of science as botany, animal husbandry and gardening.  
And, of course, it was impossible to make a cake from potatoes alone.  
"Cherries, cherries..." - muttered GLaDOS under her breath, bringing hydroponic farms back to life. Previously, they were used to grow incredibly modified dinners in the dining room of the Aperture complex, but since there was only one worker who needed food here, she was fine with synthetic food. In addition, even Mr. Johnson considered the experiments with the diet of employees not very interesting. - "How to grow cherries?"  
She found in a lab coat, hanging in the locker room at the entrance to the farm, several very dry berry seeds, genetically similar to cherry. What can I say, the choice was small.  
For the sake of extracting flour, eggs and milk, I had to equip three separate expeditions from androids to the surface - newer models, with plastic containers built into the back. To increase the chances of success, the AI provided the androids personally under her yellow optic and briefly described the Android Hell to them, where they will be sent in case of failure. Androids understood and hurried into the elevator to the surface.  
Returning from a walk through the complex, Chell watched the robots with a perplexed look.  
"I always keep my promises", - GLaDOS remarked, squinting at the elevator. When his doors closed, she added a little less strictly, - "Those that I give you are for sure".  
The girl smiled and reached out to hug the AI, but she raised her case higher so that it was impossible to reach even from the "bridge".  
"Not now".

To make a cake diagram and find the products was half the story. Having finally received all the necessary ingredients, GLaDOS apparently went deep inside, actually transferring a significant part of her electronic consciousness to the just-cleaned and restored kitchen. Yes, Aperture science still had a kitchen, but AI never used it.  
On the table opposite the stove, the manipulators attached an old TV, into which was already inserted an example of an incomparable collection of the most unnecessary things that could be found in the complex - if you know where to look. It was a disc with a recording of some culinary program, which talked about the preparation of several chocolate desserts.  
"Let's see", - GLaDOS checked how the manipulators obeyed her and turned on the TV. An overly cheerful woman flashed on the screen right away in some caustic-colored kitchen and twittered with a slight British accent. - "How do people do this?" - GLaDOS stared with the three cameras above the stove on the screen with a smiling woman. The manipulators moved quickly, but the AI, out of habit, still did not keep up with culinary actions on the screen.  
"And remember", - the woman smiled, whipping the chocolate dough, - "the main ingredient of any good dish is love!"  
"I can bet on my optical lens that love is a feeling, not an ingredient", - GLaDOS looked at the bowl of dough with cameras. It didn’t turn out as beautiful as a TV woman’s, but AI fairly considered that taste would be more important for Chell. - "And how do I add love to it? If only I could add the appropriate hormones without ruining the recipes..."  
AI again looked at the woman on the screen. She was already twittering the end of her talk about the Black Forest, and from somewhere near her appeared two completely uninteresting children and a man with a cardboard smile.  
AI contemptuously narrowed her nonexistent eyes, rewound the video to the moment where it was directly said about baking, poured the dough into a mold and set to cherries and whipped cream.

The test subject stared in surprise at the cake. She looked sleepy and disheveled - she barely woke up - and the pillow had not yet completely let the girl out of its arms. AI was silent with a barely flickering optic - maybe she was sleeping.  
Chell sat up, not taking her eyes off the cake, reached out, moved a little and walked to the platform. The cake was clearly chocolate, its top layer was covered with whipped cream, into which twenty-three cherries were stuck with mathematical precision.  
Chell looked up and, finding no cutlery, bit off a piece with cream and cherry from the cake.  
"Dirty", - said GLaDOS, brightly lighting an optic. The girl turned around, smeared with cream, but with a wide smile. - "Shower out of turn. Well? Grade?"  
Instead of an answer, Chell famously jumped onto the bridge and, until the AI managed to get under the ceiling, climbed onto its case. GLaDOS was taken aback and turned several times in place, trying to shake the test subject out on the bed.  
"Lunatic!" - AI seems to have felt her body embraced. Pretty strong for this girl. - "Get off immediately!"  
Familiar sparks ran through the depths of the wires. If GLaDOS would undertake to compare, most of all it would be like goosebumps.  
"Are you satisfied?" - AI finally stopped. Chell nodded, hung over the GLaDOS faceplate and, before tumbling and plopping down on the bed, pressed her lips to the glass optic with a soundless laugh.  
Literally at 0.08 nanoseconds, the AI regretted a little about a body of flesh and blood.


	10. The reverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are at reversal things  
> just because why not

Once Glados woke up from a strong shaking. Deciding that the floor of the room was falling, she jumped out of bed and found that it was only Chell who was trying to catch a squirrel climbing into the control room. With four platforms and eight manipulators at once. The squirrel darted back and forth, Chell turned after it and made malevolent gambling electronic sounds.  
Glados facepalmed.  
"Am I bothering you?" - she asked aloud. Chell instantly forgot about the squirrel, turned the body to the woman and screeched joyfully. The platforms under the legs of Glados moved in and dragged her to the AI.  
"How hard it is to live when a huge robot loves you", - Glados sighed and extended a hand to stroke Chell's faceplate. She purred and practically laid her body on the floor.  
"Is everything all right?" - the headphone rustled. Glados winced and muttered:  
"Yes, yes, Rick. A squirrel came from somewhere. Are you kidding me?"  
"I swear, beauty, it's not my fault!" - Rick rustled something else. - "I'll send someone. Listen, until you quarreled there again - persuade our baby to turn on the fourth test block. Okay? We wanted to check out something about Repulsion Gel".  
"Okay... And ask them to bring me breakfast".  
Glados turned off the headphone and removed it from her ear. Sleeping in a lab coat was not a good idea, of course, but there was nothing to be done - after the last "Situation", she had to stay with Chell for at least another month.  
And Rick kept joking that it was time to get her to pay the rent of the control room.

Chell was truly a miracle of science - human intelligence, albeit with minor changes, placed on an electronic medium. Such a step pushed the boundaries of science as far as the invention of the train was far from the invention of the wheel. It was especially pleasing that the experiment was successful... at least in the beginning.  
Glados personally monitored the experiment. When the girl, the future beautiful AI, was injected with anesthetics and fixed on the operating table, her look for a second, before hiding behind the still alive eyelids, darted and lingered on the face of the experiment leader. Glados flinched and shook her head - for some reason she was pricked by an unpleasant cold feeling.  
And now she was paying for this last lively look.

A week before the last "Situation", Glados finally asked for a vacation. They did not want to let her go for a long time because in her absence, it was extremely difficult to keep an eye on Chell. But the woman convinced the authorities that she would talk about this with her ward.  
"Hello, Chell", - Glados put her hand on the faceplate of the robot. Her test subject loved the touch, although Glados wasn't sure if Chell was feeling anything at all. - "Listen, I'm a little tired. I got tired of spending whole days here. I want to go on vacation".  
Chell hid her optic for a second under the protective plate. This girl loved to pretend that she could still blink. Sometimes at night Glados could swear that she hears muffled breathing... Well, its sound imitation, of course.  
"That means", - Glados waved her hand over the white and orange plastic, - "that I will not come here for a while".  
Something clicked under the ceiling. Glados seemed to feel the metal body tenser under her arm. The optic stared at the scientist right in the face.  
"Sweetheart, I want to rest too", - Glados tried to make her voice as plaintive as possible. - "To visit the sea... Do you know how cool it is now at sea? July! I would return with a bunch of stories from a vacation and a little tanned... Let's say..." - she lowered her voice a little, - "about two weeks later..."  
Chell creaked disgustingly. The girl was sometimes terribly stubborn. As if they didn’t put a person into the computer, but a spoiled dog.  
"Think about how I could leave without asking you at all", - Glados crossed her arms over her chest. - "And I not only inform you of my desire, I also promise to tell you how everything went".  
After these words, Glados turned away, counting in her mind the time for the manifestation of the due effect.  
After thirteen whole and five tenths of a second, Chell gently poked her on the shoulder with the corner of her faceplate and shook it with a metal sigh, as if agreeing.  
Although she actually agreed.

Glados woke up from the phone ringing. It was three in the morning in Salou.  
"Hello?" - she greeted in her most unfriendly voice.  
"Ah, beautiful", - Rick was rustling again. The scientist promised herself someday to drop him into toxic waste if he starts to squish coffee directly into the phone. - "Someone wants to chat with you".  
"You're an idiot", - Glados wearily rubbed her cheek, - "it's night".  
"Not here. Oh, well, she's pulling out the phone!"  
There was interference, and then an electronic morse code. Glados rolled her eyes.  
"One day I'll make you use a speech generator, you know?"  
Chell must have laughed to herself and continued to rasp something electronic. The woman grimaced and rubbed her eyes.  
"For the sake of common sense, dearie. I barely opened my eyes, and here is a deep night. I have an excursion in the morning. Please?.."  
The squeak rose for a second to painful and fell silent. Rick coughed.  
"“Well, I don’t know what you told her, beautiful, but she turned away offended", - Rick grinned. Glados waved her hand - no matter that a colleague did not see it - and threw her cell phone away on the nightstand.

It was too windy. Blades buzzed in the air.  
Glados woke up and looked out from under an umbrella. Above the beach circled a small service Aperture helicopter.  
"What the...", - as if in response to her thoughts, an anti-gravity ray hit a deck chair directly from a helicopter. Under the stunned looks of the crowd, the extremely displeased Glados on a deck chair with an umbrella rose ten meters up and clung to the shoulders of Rick's pilot uniform. - "I swear if this is something..." - she began menacingly.  
Rick waved his hands, almost releasing control. "No, no, this is terribly urgent, beautiful! Chell is..."  
Glados instantly shoved out a deck chair with an umbrella from a helicopter, not caring at all about the safety of other vacationers, and fastened herself in the second seat.  
"Drive".

On approaching the ground part of the complex there was an explosion. Although only a few solar panels exploded, Glados frowned.  
"And how long has this been happening?"  
"Since yesterday she was silent, and in the morning she began to undermine the complex", - Rick directed the helicopter to one of the external landing sites. - "Maybe you should call her?"  
"As if she has a personal phone", - Glados jumped out of a barely landing machine and rushed to the entrance to the complex. Fortunately, nothing exploded on her way to the control room.  
"Chell!" - the woman burst into the room. The white-orange case slowly turned clockwise, not paying attention to the shaking of the complex. - "Chell, damn it! Is it really impossible for me a little..."  
Chell flinched and turned sharply to her voice. For a couple of seconds, the ladies looked at each other, after which three manipulators immediately grabbed Glados and carefully threw them onto the case, arched by a kind of "hook".  
The woman sighed, adjusted her swimsuit bra, and put her hand on Chell's faceplate to begin to stroke it.  
"Yes, yes, yes, you are an egocentric mechanism. Hire a nanny for you?"


	11. Other L word

Once Chell requested (with half gestures, half with her clumsy handwriting) colored paper and a bunch of sticky sequins. GLaDOS considered the request for a long time, but approved it and sent the conveyor a demand to finely chop a couple of bags of shiny foil. At the other end of the complex, an industrial furnace began heating four cans of glue.  
"And what are you going to do?" - asked the AI. Chell made a mysterious face and shook her head. - "Hm. Okay, I hope you don't blow up the complex with all of this".

Since Chell refused to go to the test because of her "project", GLaDOS had to send three androids to test the advanced Propulsion Gel. However, maybe it was for the better - it turned out that due to the new gel formula, the feet of the androids began to glow, as if smeared with phosphorus, and tightly glued to wooden surfaces. Of course, AI came up with how to benefit from this type of gel.  
"You're lucky", - GLaDOS launched a panel restructuring program to quickly rebuild the used chamber. - "This test might be too tough for you, you know".  
Chell did not pay attention to her, enthusiastically scribbling with pencils and trying on pieces of colored paper to a common sheet this or that. AI slightly lowered the protective plate over the optic.  
"You have no scientific adventurism at all. You had to jump up, grab the portal gun, run to refute my claim..."  
Chell just waved it off. AI turned away and took up the tests.

Closer to three o’clock in the morning, when GLaDOS was already half asleep, the sensors of the "arm" manipulator caught a careful touch.  
"What?" - AI turned the faceplate to the bed. Chell sat with her legs crossed and held out to the head of the complex a sheet of white paper with drawings and applique. GLaDOS stared at the paper for a couple of seconds and brought it closer to the optic using two standard manipulators.  
The drawing, which was apparently a postcard, represented two figures surrounded by an abominably childish amount of sparkles. The first figure, apparently, was Chell herself, and the second, made up of white and black rectangles and a yellow dot, depicted the head of the complex. The sparkles around the figures formed some wavy lines, and the heap between the figures - a crooked heart. In the empty space above the heart there was a modest inscription in simple pencil, which read: "chell <3 gladdy."  
Silence reigned briefly. Intelligent or living creatures would call it awkward.  
"Um".  
GLaDOS couldn’t say something more sarcastic now, even if she really wanted to. After a pause, she looked at Chell. Test subject's face was childishly open, and blood rushed to her cheeks. She was probably embarrassed.  
The AI could have sworn she felt hot for 3.78 seconds.  
"You could simply cover the whole sheet with sparkles, with such a quantity", - GLaDOS barely audibly noticed. Chell's eyebrows crawled down, and the AI hastened to mend, - "That's very... Um. I'm not... I'm not an appraiser or a picture critic, you know. Yes. You already know. I am a woman of science. Robot of science, to be precise. Yes".  
Manipulators quickly carried away a sheet of paper under the floor panel. Chell pouted her lips a little, but the "arm" manipulator lay between her shoulder blades and quickly, but noticeably stroked. Test subject smiled.

Justified by the fact that the manipulator control program failed, GLaDOS continued stroking the girl for another five minutes after she fell asleep. The serene face of the Chell reassured. Not humanly, but GLaDOS would describe this sensation as just peace.  
For a whole second longer than the last time, the AI wanted to touch test subject _differently_ than with one manipulator. Moreover, in the center of the electronic "brain" responsible for the speech, the sentence developed for an hour from the moment of reading the postcard. GLaDOS herself scanned the card and sent it straight to the electronic archive with important information about Chell - but only after the girl fell asleep. Only after poking the worker with a "finger" and making sure that she was sleeping, AI agreed with herself.  
"I. Too".


	12. The face

Once GLaDOS did not take the optics off Chell's face for ten and a half minutes in a row. In the end, test subject woke up and stared at the AI with bewilderment.  
"Sleep", - she snapped. - "I'm taking measurements".  
Chell waved her hands and closed her eyes with her palms, indicating that the light bothers her.  
"Sissy", - GLaDOS grunted and dulled the glow from the yellow optic. Test subject rolled over onto the other side and sniffed again.

The AI stretched out several samples of something similar to rubber in front of Chell.  
"Since my sensors are still... _Still_ imperfect, I will use your natural abilities. In short, you should determine the most soft and pleasant to the touch and color material".  
Test subject began to poke "rubber" with her finger thoughtfully. After five minutes of careful feeling, she nodded and pointed to number eight.  
GLaDOS removed the other samples somewhere under the plates, and frame number eight went up the transportation pipe.

Chell sat under the supervision of five cameras, with ten sensors attached to her face, and grimaced intensely. GLaDOS recorded data, constantly changing the viewing angle of cameras.  
"Make a calm face. Now smile. Now chew. Show your teeth. Chew again".  
One very small camera looked into test subject's mouth, took a photo and quickly disappeared.  
"Turn your head. Again. On the other side. Show your tongue. Lower the corners of your lips. Raise your eyebrows".

After all these GLaDOS' strange manipulations, several weeks passed. Chell got used to the fact that AI sometimes was fond of incomprehensible nonsense, and hoped that the head of the complex would share with her what it was all for (still mindful of the "arm"-manipulator and the indoor beach).  
Finally, a new raised operating panel appeared in the control room. There was something on it, covered by four white panels like a box.  
"So", - GLaDOS lowered the case. - "I conducted ambitious research in the field of anatomy and deduced, I am not afraid of this word, an amazing result. Mr. Johnson made a breakthrough by placing the human mind in a huge computer. I am going to perfect his tremendous success".  
The panels went down, and the girl saw a head on the neck, which was connected to a steel pipe connected to the pedestal. The head and neck had white skin, and "Aperture Laboratories" engraved on the cheek. Instead of hair, the back of the head was covered with thin wires in white insulation, creating the appearance of a neat short hairstyle.  
Chell sighed in admiration and touched head's cheekbone. Something hard was felt under the skin.  
"This is a prototype version of Alpha 0.4", - the AI explained with undisguised pride. - "The wires imitating the hairline provide additional connection speed for the components of the occipital, temporal and parietal areas of the head. The muscle mechanism has yet to be finalized, but for that we and the scientific laboratory to move science!"  
Chell patted GLaDOS' faceplate and pointed inquiringly to the head.  
"Of course, in the absence of a better researcher... In general, another researcher, I personally will have to test this invention".  
She lifted the case higher, several lights blinked, and the yellow optic went out a bit.  
The head on the pedestal hummed barely audibly, like a computer, and opened its eyes.  
"Two cameras in the cinema are used to shoot movies in 3D", - she commented. Chell blinked. - "Mouth. Lips moving normally?" - test subject nodded. - "Good. Of course, so far the electronics are not perfect, but what a brilliant first step! By the way, in my skin, as well as in the palm, there is a certain amount of tactile sensors. More than in the hand, but so far not enough to completely copy the human nervous system..."  
Chell stroked AI on the cheek. The mechanical muscles under the faux leather tightened.  
"“Thank you for the freelance sensor check", - GLaDOS said dryly. - "But I can handle it for now".


	13. The cinematograph

Once, in her wanderings through the personal lockers of the staff, Chell came across a completely untouched room. Having tinkered with a leg from a chair and a pair of working turrets, the girl opened the door and found a passage to some department unknown to her earlier.  
"Ah, media research projects", - GLaDOS intervened. Of course, she always out of the corner of her eye followed her valuable employee. - "We closed it after one incident with the reconstruction of the DNA structure of the space monster-mantis... You can walk around here, although you won’t find anything interesting".  
Chell lifted a pair of overturned chairs. In addition to them, in the room, which probably served as a sort of “hallway” for the department, there were several personal lockers and hangers with dust gray lab coats. The girl fiddled with the door of one of the lockers with the mysterious inscription “Detectives” and found inside a mass of flat rectangular colored boxes. Chell pulled out one and showed the old camcorder over the lockers.  
"Oh, have they really left all these discs?" - GLaDOS thoughtfully buzzed. - "I suppose they even work. If you can find a video player... Or, say, an entire working PC".  
Chell removed one of the lab coats from the coat rack, tied its sleeves and hem to make a “bag” out of it, and began to stuff flat boxes into it.

"Again you are clogging up the control room", - GLaDOS watched the subject through the “head” she placed at the head of the bed. AI said that she moved the head to more accurately examine the facial expressions of a human face, because Chell was grimacing in a dream. Chell did not doubt her words.  
The girl waved her hand and threw the discs onto the bed.  
"Ah, so you finally decided to join the culture?" - AI looked around the disks and even brought one up to the faceplate with a manipulator. - "Well, the BBC is not a bad choice".  
Chell picked a pack and opened one. A curly-haired man with high cheekbones and a blue scarf looked at her from the cover. Chell dismantled "Sherlock" on the slightly damaged cover.  
"I am sure this is one of our long-playing laser discs. With a warranty of ten thousand years. Well, I think, as an incentive for a good test, I can give you a touch of human culture... Except those porn magazines".

Exhausted and smeared with Repulsion Gel, Chell got to the control room and dropped the portal gun. The girl noticed another innovation - a bedside table was attached near her bed, on which stood a video player and a small flat screen, such as those that protruded from the walls in the offices throughout the complex. Cables from all the electronics were expectedly hidden under the floor tiles.  
"Passing a shower - right away to satisfy aesthetic hunger?" - grinned GLaDOS. - "Change clothes and wash yourself, and then, so be it, I will show you the wonders of human thought".  
Intrigued, Chell ran into the shower stall, which the head of the complex also moved closer to herself.  
Later, sitting on the bed in an orange bathrobe and wiping her head with a blue towel (Chell out of some stubbornness avoided the automatic dryer invented by AI), test subject looked at the screen that was not yet turned on and constantly looked at GLaDOS.  
"I turn it on, impatient girl", - AI delivered the first "Sherlock" season to her and started designing the chambers.

By the time GLaDOS completely regained consciousness in the android head, Chell was already inserting the other side of the disk into the drive.   
"So which season is it?" - test subject thought and showed one finger. - "Hm. Judging by my timer, you managed to watch three episodes. Enough with you for today".  
The TV itself turned off, and the panel with it gently drove under the floor. Chell hurtly pressed the remote to her.  
"Don't make that face. If you behave, we'll watch something else".


	14. Women pluses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super short one

Once GLaDOS suddenly made a sound like a noisy sigh, and turned her optic straight at test subject who was engaged in nonsense.  
"You. What do you consider the most attractive in a woman?"  
Caught by surprise, Chell shook her head and stared at the picture with a curly detective, a series about which they had recently watched. Love for the protagonist, a sarcastic sociopath, somehow reminded Chell of her beloved researcher, was expressed by the girl in drawings and tapping the main musical theme of the series.  
Test subject showed the picture to GLaDOS.  
"I don't ask why do you like him, little fan", - AI tried to pour an additional portion of sarcasm into the tone, - "I asked, if in your dreams of a character that never existed you missed my question, about what you consider the most attractive in a woman".  
Chell thought for a moment. Such questions never crossed her mind, because GLaDOS was the only material woman around. So she did not hesitate pointed to the AI.  
"How should I interpret this gesture?" - AI sighed annoyingly, although in the soul, or in the electronic emotion center, or in the electronic version of the soul, no matter what she had, she was even somewhat flattered by this gesture. - "Do you like white, large sizes or robots? Specify".  
Chell found a notebook among her mess and began to scribble, periodically looking back at GLaDOS. The AI had to humbly wait, having spent time behind a remote test of a test chamber with a red-hot Repulsion Gel using a couple of robots. Robots could always be rebuilt, even with the same memory, where there would be moments a couple of seconds before the death of a mechanical body, but she had only one living worker.  
Finally, a mute tapped GLaDOS' faceplate with a pencil and showed her a notebook. There across the page was written large and crooked: "You".  
"Extremely informative", - GLаDOS sighed and took the notebook from the girl with the help of the manipulator. - "Okay, let's go the other way".

People have created a lot of abomination, according to GLаDOS. Excluding the AI herself, of course. Now she was not without pleasure tearing page after page of a picture of almost naked women from magazines found by obedient androids in the complex. She was only interested in who brought so much abomination to the laboratory. She decided not to touch the magazine that Chell had.  
Of course, all this was done exclusively for research purposes.  
"Analysis ... 64%", - GLаDOS mentally examined the figure being formed layer by layer. It turned out vigorously - the AI planned to fit it to the so-called "model" 90-60-90, for sure to work out well. Her worker had a very interested look when she looked at undressed glossy women.  
A manipulator with a viscous crack of torn paper separated another page from the cover.


	15. Eighth

Once GLaDOS dragged a bowl of plaster into the control room. To a dumb question from Chell, AI raised her head, which she already used much more often than the mainframe, and uttered: "Unscheduled medical procedure! I need to measure your feet. And yes, I also need a plaster cast".  
Chell raised an eyebrow.  
"And dare not judge my methods. You are not a researcher".

Just in case, after making five copies from both feet of test subject, GLaDOS poured rubber over the molds and uploaded a training medical film about human anatomy. After finishing the necessary preparations and leaving part of the mind to do the calculations, she once again loaded most of the consciousness into the android head. To the joy of AI, the transition speed between the "head" and the mainframe has increased markedly since the time passed from the first tests. An amateur would probably say something like "computer overclocked", and the head of the complex would not argue.  
"Have you ever thought about skiing?" - Instead of using the cameras in the test rooms in the usual way, the AI connected Chell's TV screen to them and turned to it. Thus, of course, the review was limited to one camera at a time, and the image was by no means of the highest resolution, but for some reason GLaDOS _liked_ it more. Right now, until the girl sees.  
Chell looked around in surprise and jumped in place. Perhaps in the language of mute lunatics it meant "What?".  
"You have an eighth foot size. And your left foot is slightly larger than the right. With such skis you can ski on the slopes without special equipment", - GLaDOS grunted. - "Perhaps not only on the slopes, but also on the water. You know, behind the boat".  
Chell waved it off and sent the turret in flight using the faith panel.  
"Come on, deny it. In general, I measured your feet, and despite such absurdities, they look pretty stable. Congratulations. Although you sometimes manage to stumble out of the blue".

Chell pressed a pillow to her chest, hiding her feet underneath.  
"What a distrust. It’s as if you don’t know that you are the only living worker here. Nothing bad will happen to you", - GLaDOS persistently nudged her with a sticky sensor. The girl shook her head in protest. - "Damn you! You are like a spoiled dog, and not the main engine of science in this complex!"  
Chell stubbornly pursed her lips. AI portrayed anger on her face.  
"Well, okay. If you don’t want me to make a scientific breakthrough, please! But bad girls don’t eat cake on their birthday".  
Test subject frowned, but reluctantly put her bare foot forward. AI instantly hooked sensors on it and began to tickle the sole of Chell's foot with the tip of the manipulator. The girl jerked and shook in a silent laugh, restraining herself with all her might so as not to pull her leg away.  
"This is necessary to calibrate the sensitivity of new sensors in my... New inventions", - GLaDOS pretended to be very busy observing immediately the mass of screens with incomprehensible indicators. Although it was funny to watch how her only human was bent and sniff. - "Although your feet are still too big".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I have to redo pieces of text in the translation that I have no idea how to translate correctly. For example, fragments with proverbs or slang [sigh]  
> I apologize if the text looks scanty because of this
> 
> In addition, I’m not sure about the correct translation of the joke about foot size. There are different systems in Russia and the USA, and perhaps the table I found was incorrect. Who knows.


	16. Gambling

Once Chell was engaged in another nonsense in the form of building a house of cards. She pulled out a card that was especially beautiful in her eyes and almost poked the card in the android head's eye. AI measured the girl with a contemptuous look and took the card away with a manipulator-hand.  
"Do it again, and I will pop _your_ eye out. Replace with a fully functional prosthesis is possible, but painful".  
Chell snorted and tapped the playing card with her finger. The head of the complex carefully examined it. Ordinary playing card, nothing special...  
"Do I associate with a lady of spades, or what?" - GLaDOS pursed her lips skeptically. Chell shook her head and shook the card. - "I will need to finally insert a speech synthesizer into your throat. Or teach sign language".  
Test subject waved her hands in protest. Then, with the air of a true connoisseur, she showed an indecent gesture with two hands, which she learned inexplicably. GLaDOS already lost her speech power for two whole twelve hundredths of a second, and then painfully slapped test subject on the hands.  
"I will tear your hands off! And insert new ones! What are these dirty words in the finger performance?"  
Chell hid her hands behind her back, and with her head bowed, returned to the house of cards. GLaDOS was mentally indignant for another five minutes, trying to analyze where this girl could get such things from, and finally turned back to test subject.  
"Instead of engaging in such nonsense", - the AI began arrogantly, - "let me finally make your brains work and teach you how to play cards. You didn’t think that they are needed only to build these pyramids of yours?"

Since there was no sense in reading out the mute lunatic to the detailed rules of the "fool" from the Internet, GLaDOS first studied the card games herself. Sometimes it seemed to her that she even thought up all these things in vain in order to entertain the only person in Aperture. Previously, after all, test subjects were treated properly - as consumables, and she herself did not mind drowning Chell in acid... Once. In past. Now of course not. Never.  
GLaDOS neatly laid out the cards according to the suits on the top panel of the Companion Cube and began to explain in detail to Chell the difference between the king and the ace. To her surprise, quite pleasant, the girl grabbed the rules of the card pretty quickly and immediately began to demand with gestures to start the game on something.  
"Good", - GLaDOS honestly turned off the cameras in the control room and called three manipulators into the room. So that Chell has at least a chance of winning. But at the same time, AI launched a protocol for calculating the most probable distribution of cards. Just in case. So that for Chell it wasn't too easy.

Six parties later, test subject again found herself with a large deck in her hands, while GLaDOS laid out the last jack on the Companion Cube and skillfully imitated a sarcastic smile.  
"You know, they say, in such games it is important to be also lucky. It seems that according to Murphy’s law, you were born at the same time as the most and not the most lucky person in this complex".  
Test subject snorted and reluctantly began to shuffle the cards again. To her credit, for the sixth time it turned out almost perfectly.  
"I'm getting bored. Raise bids?" - GLADOS grinned. - " _When_ I win, you will clean up my room. _This room_. You already filled up the room with all kinds of trash.".  
Chell shrugged and began to deal cards.

Despite the fact that Chell wasn’t playing games with cards as often as watching all sorts of nonsense from the former media study department, the girl’s skill in cards increased noticeably. Now she consistently won one out of ten games against AI. Nevertheless, GLaDOS did not get tired of joking about the girl’s losses, in deep secret from her, starting to be a little proud of the growth of the intellectual abilities of the mute lunatic.  
"I had to start playing cards for undressing", - GLаDOS noticed after another win. - "So it would be much easier to persuade you to undress for a medical checkup".  
Chell raised an eyebrow and smiled mysteriously. She again took to shuffling the cards.  
When the next statistically correct time the AI won, Chell kicked off her spring boots. The time has come for GLaDOS to curiously raise an eyebrow.  
"What are you doing?"  
The girl waved her hand and again began to shuffle the deck. AI decided not to pay attention - she herself knew perfectly well that the train of thought of a lunatic was covered in mystery.

The next loss forced Chell to pull off the shirt. AI was wary.  
"Did you take my words about undressing so seriously? That's all because of your dirty magazines. You read them, and then you have brains on one side".  
Test subject grinned and took up the cards again. GLaDOS has already forgotten what color the bra on Chell is. By the way, AI was glad that she thought about arranging angular vision using special camera focus. The gaze of the head involuntarily dropped to the level of the subject’s chest, and the AI had to constantly yank herself.

On the third consecutive lose, of course, pants flew out of bed. GLaDOS even for a couple of seconds forgot about the imitation of blinking, looking at the joyful abnormal girl at point blank range.  
"No, really, why are you undressing?" - AI tried to prevent the speech synthesizer from junking. So far it came out more or less, but something in it had already begun to crackle. - "I am trying to analyze your behavior and cannot find a logical connection between cause and effect. I’ve already seen you naked at a physical examination many times. Do you think that since I am now not in the main body, but in the part of the android, I should react differently somehow? Form does not define content, sweetheart".  
Chell nodded thoughtfully, listening to her boss's harsh speech, and then with a cheerful smile reached for her underpants with the Aperture logo.  
Three manipulators immediately grabbed her wrists, and the "arm" slapped painfully lower than her back.  
"Stop undressing, I said"! - GLaDOS was indignant. - "You will be left without dinner! What is this behavior? Debauchery!"  
Chell laughed silently, not even trying to get out of the manipulators holding her. At that moment, GLaDOS was ready to swear that the girl had either completely gone crazy, or had suddenly taken on some kind of psychological game with her.  
The first was not the worst option for AI.  
GLaDOS quickly counted to the quintillion - it usually reassured her - and removed the manipulators.  
"Get dressed immediately and never do that again. Otherwise, I will no longer entert... Organize your leisure".


	17. The Goddess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> faith in science

Once Chell came across a brochure with a large yellow cross on the cover. The girl tried to figure out what it was talking about for about half an hour, but in the end she waved her hand at it and went to the AI.  
"Hmm... where did you get that?", - GLaDOS carefully studied the brochure and shook her head thoughtfully. - "I didn’t think that someone would drag their rubbish into this temple of science".  
Chell sat down near her head and arched an eyebrow. AI snapped a pair of panels and let out a heavy sigh.  
"I tell you once. Religious brochure. We don’t do this... anymore. Mr. Johnson already created me", - here GLaDOS could not help laughing. Sometimes she really seemed to herself either a servant of Science, or the very goddess of her favorite fields of knowledge. The complex is a dangerous Eden, Chell is a kind of Eve... Why not? People terribly love metaphors.  
The girl shrugged, showing that she had no idea what was at stake.

"I do not think that you are objectively aware of the concept of God", - GLаDOS grinned. - "Although, perhaps, in life _before_ all this you were aware of it. We know how badly your mind has been damaged. You even fell in love with a robot".  
Chell giggled and hugged the pedestal on which the android's head was fixed. GLaDOS has been particularly active on it recently, and it was already a version of the head number "Alpha 1.8". In this version, for example, the “hair” wires became shorter, and from the sides went into flexible metal plates, dangling just below the junction of the head and neck. GLаDOS proudly said that weaving wires together under the protection of the plates and connecting them to a pair of connectors on the back of the head was more rational than punching the entire head with connectors.  
Thus, the entire structure resembled a short hairstyle. Chell liked it even more than previous versions.  
"Stop rubbing on the stand", - AI noticed with a chill. - "So, since you are more unreasonable than a child, and you do not surpass the level of obedience of children, I'll explain it as simply as possible. "God" is a designation for a certain higher entity, which supposedly created all the components of the reality surrounding us and constantly watches what it created. A controversial concept, since it is impossible to prove either the presence or absence of such an entity. Such epithets as "omnipotent" and "all-forgiving" are usually appropriated to it, at least in the version of religious beliefs most familiar to our company. Any questions?"  
Chell wrinkled her brow, realizing the flow of information that was dumped on her. Finally, she began to hesitantly gesticulate, reproducing the sign alphabet, which she had already studied with GLaDOS. So test subject, letter by letter, showed the word "god" and pointed to the AI.  
The head of the complex could hardly help smiling.  
"In a way... Maybe. In the end, I alm... I _completely_ control this complex and test program. So yes. Within Aperture Science, I can be called a goddess. Although in this case you are at least the devil.. You killed me one time and tried to kill me the second time".  
Chell frowned, showing her dislike to this topic. She moved away from the pedestal with the head and hugged the pedestal with the hand. AI smiled indulgently.  
"Well, as a last resort, you are Eve".


	18. Silence

Once, in one of the remote corners of the complex, rain began to pour through a hole in the high roof. Chell, having wandered here in search of interesting rooms by former researchers, stared in surprise at the water pouring in a torrential stream. No, she had already seen rain before, but this time it was really very strong. It was as if GLaDOS brought a water pipe here and for some reason spends its supplies on pouring rusty plates.  
Test subject created a wormhole on the balcony a level higher and stepped out onto it. The balcony was closer to the stream of water, and Chell boldly put her hand under the stream. The water was pleasantly cool and splashed a little on the face.  
The girl giggled, drew back her hand and turned her gaze upward in search of a new place for portals.

After an hour and a half, showing miracles of ingenuity and dexterity, Chell reached the zero level of the complex. Self-repairing test rooms and corridors often came across the road, in some places robots smeared them with white gel. Cameras, of course, watched her, but so far GLаDOS did not interfere with her. However, Chell did not think about this.  
The noise of water overhead became almost continuous. The roof was dismantled, so rain fell inside the complex. Of course, it was impossible to open the portal to the outside, but instead, Chell put down the portalgun and began to collect trash, at the same time roughly estimating the distance to the ceiling.

After another forty minutes of building incredible stairs from chairs, tables, a couple of old fire extinguishers and all kinds of construction waste, Chell finally got to the hole in the ceiling. Climbing over the mountain from any garbage in boots with springs was a little uncomfortable, but test subject did not want to remove them at all. Maybe not even because they would have saved her from falling from this strange "ladder", but because they were her favorite boots. In addition, white and silver went very well to the orange jumpsuit, no matter what GLаDOS said about her lack of taste.  
Chell balanced a little on the seat of the very top chair, jumped, dumping the whole shaky garbage structure, and caught on wet rusty pieces of reinforcement sticking out of the hole. A little more work with her hands - and the girl climbed to the surface.

It was expected to rain outside. Chell shook herself off without much benefit, rather smearing the rust on her legs with her hands, and looked around.  
The girl found herself in the middle of an abundantly earing field. Because of the downpour, the ears bent to the ground, and they seemed not golden but dirty yellow, but still the sight of an endless field, illuminated by the sun on the horizon of low clouds and darkening somewhere on the side of the forest, was breathtaking. It also seemed amusing to her how a huge complex with a bunch of killing gizmos in it skillfully hid underground, given the fact that for many miles around it seemed there was not a soul.  
Chell smiled and patted joyfully through the mud toward the forest.

***

A girl came back with full arms of all vegetation, smeared with dirt on her very eyebrows, but joyful. In the end, not every day she managed to find such a cool hole in the roof of the complex to escape from her beloved robot for three hours and return with a bunch of gifts from the outside world. For some reason, GLaDOS herself didn’t really like the outside world. Not that she would strictly forbid the girl to run upstairs, but she was always terribly unhappy and in every possible way prevented such runs.  
"A lot of flowers for my potato", - Chell mentally sang with a smile, looking closely at the hole that was not yet closed, to fall on the springs more successfully and not to lose all her trophies along the way. Of course, GLaDOS has already discovered that the girl is not in Aperture and sounded the alarm, and probably already found this hole. And at home, Chell expected a big catch up for running away, exposing herself to danger and non-washing rust on her pants, and then a hot shower under the hard pressure of water (kind of punishment for the offender), combined with a lecture on how important it is to obey the elders. Once a girl would be indignant in response to such a manifestation of love and care, but not now.  
Now, Chell knew for sure that the AI would not throw away a single leaf or a wormy acorn the girl brought in her fist. She will simply hide where test subject cannot see them and smile a little mockingly.  
Even if Chell did not always understand what her beloved AI was saying or wanting from her, she definitely knew that GLaDOS was completely in vain afraid of being left without a company of mute lunatic.


	19. Exacerbation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since there is a temperature issue in the chapter... It's about degrees Celsius.

Once, a couple of hours after a long walk, Chell suddenly began to sniff. GLаDOS, of course, immediately scolded her, took her to the shower, cleaned, scrubbed and wrapped her in a blanket, but this did not save test subject from the worst invincible enemy of mankind - the common cold.  
"If you manage to die from such nonsense, I will kill you", - promised GLаDOS. Chell sniffed guiltyly, and a manipulator with a bunch of white shawls immediately dropped to her. - "And don't sniff! Do you need sinusitis?"  
The girl pursed her lips and turned away from the pedestal with the android head. Then GLаDOS, with the help of one manipulator, threw the blanket off Chell's face and forced her to blow her nose in a handkerchief, and put the deer in her arms with the other manipulator. Chell hugged the toy and again hid entirety.  
"When will I no longer pose as your mommy?" - GLаDOS sighed, uploading three videos about the common cold and its treatment. At the same time, she had to prematurely activate the medical unit - the planned medical examination should take place only a month later.

A cold, in principle, was not such a big problem in itself. GLaDOS was much more worried that the usual symptoms of the disease, like fever, runny nose and drowsiness, seemed to her incommensurably more dangerous than it actually was. That is, one part of AI perfectly understood that curing a cold with proper care is quite easy, but the other...  
Firstly, GLaDOS was generally worried about the presence of this certain _other_ part. Secondly, this very "other part" immediately began to sound the alarm if there was even the slightest danger to Chell in anything, and now _this_ part was on the verge of hysteria.  
Because of this situation, GLaDOS sometimes seriously wondered if the robot could have a split personality.

For two consecutive days, Chell's temperature held steady at thirty-seven and nine. Although she could not say this, and did not even moan barely audibly, her appearance showed that the worker was extremely ill. GLaDOS temporarily left only five percent of her consciousness for the maintenance of the complex, leaving most of herself to treat the only person in Aperture.  
Chicken soup and tea, together with the obligatory teaspoon of honey, were prepared as if in order to survive the apocalypse - the AI even took three former test chambers, very close to the greenhouses, to the apiary, thinking at the same time - was it crazy?  
Unfortunately or fortunately, the voice of paranoia sounded louder than others. AI added a couple of heaters to the control room because Chell started chillingly wrapping herself in three blankets and pressing her legs in two pairs of socks under her.  
Everything went so far that GLeDOS could not even find words to pin the patient. As a result, all their communication came down to dry AI announcements in the style of "Soup", "Tea", "Shower" and "First honey, then tea." Deep in the electronic soul, maybe she would like to say something warm and affectionate, but these words did not come to mind either.

One morning, Chell couldn't get out of bed to get to the bathroom. A thin, annoying voice of panic crashed into the electronic brain with a red-hot drill, and AI made the only right decision to calm herself - to finally give Chell an antipyretic. She could have done this earlier, but the thought that the girl’s health depends most of all on her, oddly enough, reassured her.  
"Drink it", - GLaDOS commanded, "hand" raising a mug to Chell's pale lips. She had to seat the girl, throw her head back and pour medicine into her mouth with the help of manipulators. Chell swallowed force several times, coughed and sighed so weakly, but heavily, that the lips of AI involuntarily flinched.  
"Chell..." - GLaDOS ventilated the mechanisms inside the head with a few sighs, and tried to give the voice the greatest warmth that she was capable of. - "Please. Hold on".  
The girl turned pale even more, and smiled forcibly to the head of the complex.  
Chell slept much calmer that day.

After a couple of days, only a slight pallor resembled the girl’s illness. Chell was ready to go turn the mountains and smear her head with Repulsion Gel, but GLaDOS did not allow her.  
"Sit still until a relapse occurs", - snapped out AI. - "Now is the month of prevention. Then - exclusively testing with spring boots and light bridges. Then we'll see".  
Chell snorted mockingly, but beneath GLaDOS's stern heavy gaze, she quietened and wrapped herself tightly in the blanket.


	20. Radio and wi-fi

Once GLаDOS once again pulled the pedestal with its android head under the panel, somewhere in the bowels of the laboratory, where she worked on creating herself anew. Chell didn’t react to this anymore, because the changes in this sweet head were almost invisible to her. According to GLaDOS, it was some kind of settings inside the head and work with the skin texture and sensors-wires-all-such, in which test subject was poorly versed. For the duration of the upgrade, the AI transferred herself back to the mainframe with a yellow optic and became much less emotional.  
"This time the update is more global", - she turned to a girl dressed in a night shirt and pants - softer and completely white. Some time ago, due to the presence of such a suit, AI dismissively called Chell "the angel". - "I decided that wired communication is, of course, great and very fast, but I need a backup option in case of cable breaks. The chance that when the wires are disconnected the performance will decrease should be as low as possible. And in general, we live in such a century..." - AI hesitated, checking the calendar. Outwardly, of course, she did not change, but she made a note on one important date and continued, - "...In such a century, when a torn cable should be an easy to fix inconvenience, and not a reason for major repairs".  
Chell nodded thoughtfully and stared inquiringly into the yellow optic. AI wanted to grin sarcastically, but in time she remembered that the head, along with the beautiful artificial muscles of the face, was now redone below, and instead she snapped out dryly, - "You will see".

It took about three days. Chell happily leafed through a book about the rules of tennis and table tennis, looking at pictures and practicing reading such complex words as Wimbledon and Championshipball. Suddenly the panels parted, and the pedestal, as always, hidden by white panels, moved into its place. The girl immediately dropped the book and sat close to the pedestal, preparing to listen to complex explanations.  
The panels slid down, and a head with a very prominent upgrade appeared to Chell.

On the sides of GLaDOS' head, higher than the temples, two gray shiny things appeared, similar to triangles with rounded color corners, sticking up parallel to each other, either like cat ears folded to one side, or like horns, or peculiar wings. In addition, the upper part of the forehead at the android head, where the wires of the frontal part to connect with the other parts came from, was now covered by a long metal plate, exactly the same as those that kept the same wires below. This new plate looked like a gray bezel pushed over the forehead.  
Chell clapped her hands enthusiastically, waiting for the AI to load herself into the new version of the head.  
"Well?" - asked the head of the complex, as soon as she opened her eyes. Chell showed her thumb, and GLaDOS grinned pretty. - "Fine. Functionality should not interfere with the aesthetic... In general, these, as you have already noticed, beautiful devices are antennas of my own design. Left for radio signals, and right for Wi-Fi".  
As if to prove it, GLaDOS turned on the antennas. The rounded colored tips on them lit up, the right one with orange, and the left one with blue. Chell gasped in admiration and immediately grabbed the antennas, but carefully so as not to break. GLaDOS pursed her lips as much as the facial expressions allowed.  
"As usual, you know. I do, you break. Why get your hands on it right away?"  
The girl smiled, stroked the head of the AI through the wires between the antennas and hugged her. The head of the complex instinctively tried to escape from her arms, but, of course, in the android head she only managed to tilt her neck. From this, it seems, test subject was inspired even more, tightly squeezed GLaDOS' neck and pressed her lips to AI's cheek, cold and slightly rubbery to the touch.

"...Have antennas made such an impression on you, or is it the hormones that are raging?" - barely, through the interference, GLaDOS creaked. The touch of the _lips_ caused some riot of sensations in the sensors, even considering that the set of feelings available to her was very limited so far. From this, the voltage jumped, and the speech synthesizer lost all the damn settings. Chell, of course, only smiled mysteriously and gently ran her thumb across the GLaDOS cheek from her lips to her cheekbones. Then she suddenly jumped up and began to rummage in the chest of drawers standing near the bed. The chest of drawers was another innovation of the head of the complex, which willy-nilly had to give the girl a place for the most important things that should always be at hand. The girl took out a notebook and a pair of felt-tip pens, plopped down on the bed and began to draw, constantly looking at the android’s head.  
GLaDOS was completely baffled.  
"If you liked the antennas _so much_ , then what will happen when I finish the body?" - AI finally said. The speech synthesizer was almost able to be reconfigured, only an electric spark in tone still slipped a little. - "Then you will hang on me, and all science will stall on this?"  
Instead of answering, Chell unfolded a notebook in front of AI. The girl drew unexpectedly similar three sketches of the GLaDOS' head, and with a felt-tip pen of a different color, sequentially allocated cat ears, horns and wings on these heads.  
AI skeptically rolled her eyes, secretly enjoying this very useful feature.  
"No. These are not ears, you watch too much Japanese animation. These are also not horns, have we agreed that I’m not the devil? And these are not wings. Do I look like Hermes? Even if you deify me, in fact it is not".  
Chell tinkered a little more with felt-tip pens, and under the portraits a caption appeared slightly falling on the left side: " _You're sweet_ ".  
"Like you didn't say that already", - GLaDOS grinned, finally calming down. - "However, I ask you not to touch the antennas. And do not go kissing".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she will, of course


	21. (reverse!) Human flesh

Once, looking at an interactive map of the complex, Glados noticed a small dark spot on it. This slightly surprised her, but she decided that maybe it was just a dead pixel on the monitor or a crash of the map program. Nevertheless, the scientist decided to contact the chief expert of the complex on everything related to the complex.

Chell never agreed to use a speech synthesizer, even though it was mounted directly into her case. Therefore, Glados persistently studied the morse code, sign language in English, Russian and German versions and a signal system with flags for a month, only to be able to talk normally with her. In the end, it was with an abnormal dumb robot that Glados spent most of her time.  
"Chell", - the scientist said to the huge robot as gently as possible. The orange-white case dashingly turned around, and Chell's faceplate immediately pressed against the side of Glados. The woman absently stroked her on the black protective plate above the optic and continued. - "Listen Chell. I looked at the maps here, I wanted to connect to the cameras, look at the program of new tests of robots... And I found a dark spot on the map".  
Chell closed her "eye" and froze like that. Suddenly, a quick sound morse began, so fast that Glados barely managed to tune herself to the perception.  
" _It is a secret_ ".  
"Even for me?"  
" _Can't I have a secret?_ "  
"Honey, you can have at least a thousand secrets. But this, after all, concerns not only you and me, but all people and robots in the laboratory in general. _Especially_ Mr. Johnson".  
At the mention of the head of Aperture, Chell gave a nasty electronic screech and slightly poked the woman under the ribs.  
"No offense", - Glados wrapped her arms around the faceplate. - "You know that I can be trusted. Remember the time I interrupted my vacation in Spain for you!"  
Chell hesitated a little and reluctantly issued: " _I believe. I will show. Later_ ".

At night, at about three o’clock, when it seems that only the cleaners and Glados remained in the complex, the scientist’s bed swayed slightly. The woman started up and opened her eyes, but Chell, for some reason unusually muddy, hastened to shake the bed a little more, rocking the scientist.  
"Why did you decide to play “mother-daughter”?" - Glados snorted sleepily, turning over onto the other side and pulling the blanket over her shoulders. The walls gently floated in front of her eyes, so that a feeling was created that a woman was being carried somewhere...  
The bed shook again, and Glados finally woke up. She jumped up and looked around, but even before that she realized that she was no longer in the control room.  
Chell dragged her bed into an unfamiliar chamber, apparently through some technical corridors. It was the most common test chamber with gels and a portalgun - pipes, a flickering red button, several elevations...  
And a human-like figure on the wall, on a table from an inclined platform, entangled in a web of cables and wires.  
"Chell!" - Glados was loudly indignant. Chell appeared immediately, in the form of a movable screen by the bed. - "Chell, what is it?"  
The robot was actively beeping, so fast and confused that the scientist could not understand a word.  
"Slow down! Are you worried? Get together and explain plainly!"  
Chell paused a little, released a cloud of steam and began again, more slowly and more legibly.  
" _Someday everyone will die. I am immortal. You must too_ ".  
"Wh-what?" - dumbfounded Glados. Instead of answering, the robot dragged the bed to the platform table and lit a lamp above it.  
Connected by wires and cables to the complex itself, the figure externally remotely resembled a scientist. Of course. Obviously, Chell created this thing herself - this was indicated by angular outlines, a strange choice of colors and, in general, some childishness that shines through the structure of this android body. However, the body looked as if it were supposed to work.  
Glados turned cautiously to the screen.  
"And you... Why... Did you drag me here?"  
Chell suddenly simulated a laugh. This was the first time she used a voice synthesizer, and Glados really did not like it.  
"Chell, why?""  
" _You asked me to tell you, I decided to show_ ".  
"How did you manage to do this at all?"  
" _You put me here without difficulty_ ".  
The woman bit her lip. They did not expect test subject to remember not only the process of becoming her robot, but even the fact that she was not always a robot.  
"And you... Planning..."  
" _I hoped..._ " - Chell thought a little and started the morse code a little quieter and slower. - " _I hoped that you yourself would agree. For the sake of science. And you will be immortal_ ".  
"I'm glad you at least ask me", - Glados grinned, trying to hide her fear. Only now she suddenly realized how much the whole complex depends on a person whose life was broken by the same complex.  
" _What do you think? In my opinion, the offer is worthwhile_ ".  
Glados looked down at her hands. Own palms suddenly seemed to the woman unexpectedly dear.  
"I have..." - Glados swallowed and tried to give her voice firmness. - "I have a choice?"  
" _You are not me. You have_ ".  
Perhaps if a girl used a voice synthesizer, it would sound mocking. On the other hand, she had the right to do so. Perhaps _then_ Glados should have shown more humanity in relation to the experimental... Or at least conducted several courses to increase devotion to the common cause.  
However, now she was beginning to understand the robot.  
"Let's... Let's do it like this..." - Glados finally decided, not without effort turning her gaze to the body prepared for her. It could not be said that it was not made with love, despite all the rough edges. Maybe even too lovingly. **-** "If... No, _when_. When mine... The human body will be completely bad... If by that time my devotion to science does not run out..." - Glados carefully looked at the screen and suddenly smiled. - "Otherwise, you know... Otherwise, I will find a way to make _you_ mortal".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They have a difficult relationship in this AU too


	22. 365 cupcakes

Once, the glitter that Chell had once used to create postcard mysteriously disappeared. The girl, in general, did not pay attention to it, because since then she had not touched them, but if she had touched, she would have noticed. Other than that, in general, nothing has changed.  
Although, if Chell analyzed something in the behavior of AI, she would notice, for example, that most of the tests moved to the northern part of the complex. Or that GLaDOS has become a little stricter so that Chell goes to bed on time.

One morning, when the temperature in the control room rose ten degrees, Chell woke up with a strong shake. The girl jumped up, deciding that an earthquake had begun, but the bed ceased to shake in an instant, and a handful of sequins flew into the girl’s face.  
"I bet you won’t guess what day it is", - GLаDOS said. Test subject blinked, looking at the android part of the head of the complex.  
The AI got shoulders to a level just below the armpits. The arm-manipulator, previously located on a separate pedestal, finally took its rightful place in the right android shoulder.  
Chell sighed in delight and clapped her hands.  
"This is not like the answer", - GLaDOS grinned, extremely pleased with test subject's response. - "However, I consider it a compliment to my genius. Although the deadlines for developing the full version had to be postponed due to large-scale overhaul..." - AI shot the girl with a displeased sight, - "...However! The result is already very good. One more "however" - you never guessed what day it is today".  
Chell thought a little and asked with her fingers: " _Friday?_ " AI facepalmed, demonstrating excellent hand control.  
"Apparently, such a formulation has no associative connections in your head. In general, today is your birthday".  
A pair of manipulators fastened a bright cardboard cap on an elastic band over Chell's head. The girl in surprise curved her eyebrows.  
"This time without cheating and without a trick", - GLaDOS put her hand on the pedestal. - "Just happy birthday. You are officially the oldest person on Earth. Seriously, do you have any idea _how much_ time you spent in anabiosis, until..."  
AI suddenly fell silent and frowned a little. Chell anxiously took the head of the complex by the hand and smiled.  
"...Well, in the end", - continued AI without taking her hand, - "you are the oldest person on earth. Well preserved, granny".  
The worker snorted and hugged the accessible part of the android. GLaDOS waited exactly three seconds, listening to herself, and laid her hand on the girl's back, hugging the birthday girl in response. Even through the shirt, the subject's skin seemed hot.  
AI barely restrained herself from putting her head on test subject’s shoulder.

Ten trays, one by one, crawled out from under the floor, as if on a small conveyor. On the trays was a huge amount of chocolate cupcakes, each with a cherry in the middle.  
Chell widened her eyes and reached for the nearest tray, but the manipulator immediately slammed her hands slightly.  
"Bustler", - GLаDOS spoke impassively and continued solemnly, - "I mean, dear [insert test subject’s name]! Today is your birthday. Know that your contribution to science is undoubtedly invaluable and very important to us. At the end of the month, you will be given one cake of the "Black Forest" type, a fork and the number of candles that is appropriate for your age. Congratulations. You are the hero of the day".  
GLaDOS twitched a little, and she smiled softly at the "heroine of the day".  
"This was a recorded message, mute lunatic. Well... You understood. Happy Birthday. But there will be no cake, too high in calories for a person with your body type", - AI said. Not to admit that she decided not to cook the cake for the sake of speedy assembly of a part of the future body, because she thought that this would make Chell more happy. - "So I made you cupcakes. Far fewer calories, despite the amount. There are three hundred sixty five of them. For each day you successfully lived on my incredibly dangerous and scientifically important trials".

The platform pushed one of the trays closer. Chell was finally able to take one cupcake and happily began to chew. Meanwhile, GLaDOS displayed for her on the screen an image of a site somewhere in a complex entirely laden with turrets. In the foreground, with an “eye” to this peculiar “choir”, stood a turret, signed on the side with Chell's signature, still unformed at that time, in a handwriting like “Oracle”.  
"This is... for you too", - GLaDOS again felt the phantom dryness in a nonexistent throat and thought with annoyance that maybe she should not experience the whole spectrum of human feelings. - "I can please you a few, actually. My resources regarding the holiday are not unlimited, and..."  
The girl put her finger to the lips of AI, staring at the screen. The Oracle sang a thin "Happy Birthday". The turret chorus picked up the song in different voices, so much so that Chell took to nod and sway to the beat of the song.  
GLаDOS has been looking at the subject all this time. According to AI, she looked happy, only the girl for some reason did not remove her finger from artificial lips.


	23. The potato

Once a tiny green sprout sprouted through the floor of one of the rooms. It could have gone completely unnoticed if one of the tests with the portal had not passed in this room, and if Chell had not flopped her nose forward in front of it, having stumbled on her legs after a particularly long jump.  
"In my opinion, you already have a good nose shape. But even if you don’t like it, do not straighten it with such radical methods", - noticed GLaDOS with sarcasm. Chell raised her head with a grin, and it was then that a tiny stem with a very tiny leaf caught her eyes.  
"What?" - GLaDOS arched an eyebrow of a perfectly modeled shape. Test subject jumped in front of the camera and waved her arms as if trying to show her something. - "Are you tired already? It won’t work, you still have to go through six more chambers".  
Chell stamped, sat near the sprout and began to poke her fingers at it. AI brought the picture closer and finally realized what the girl needed.  
"Where did it come from?.. Okay, continue the test, I'll figure it out".

A search droid discovered at the bottom of the former “Bring Your Daughter to Work” exhibition an enormous overgrown potato. GLaDOS flinched when she saw forgotten children's stands on the droid’s camera - she hadn’t remembered this place for so long...  
Especially “funny” was the _authorship_ of this sprouted project.  
"How long has it been..." - muttered the AI thoughtfully. She then, it seems, did not even exist... As _GLaDOS_ , of course.  
AI ordered the droid to collect several sprouts and small potatoes, while mentally completing a new expedition from androids to the surface.

"Take a look", - the pipe spat out several dirty little potatoes on the Companion Cube. Chell raised an eyebrow in surprise. - "Do not recognize it? According to my sources, you and _that fool_ walked very nicely once in the middle of an exhibition with a bunch of potato batteries".  
The girl suddenly tensed. She put down the Fawn, which she was trying to dress in some pieces of cloth, and picked up a pair of potatoes in her hand.  
"Do you recognize this?" - GLaDOS grinned. - "I'm not mad at you, though. In the end, you made the right choice, though you... What?"  
Chell waved her hand again, and when the AI was distracted by it, she actively spoke with her fingers. The gestures were a little crumpled, but GLaDOS freely reproduced in her head: " _I saw my name there in one of the experiments_ ".  
"So are you a scientist?" - GLaDOS coquettishly covered her lips with her palm. Of course, AI already knew about it. She even almost dug to the depths of the archive for the full Chell's dossier. Just do not have to talk with girl about this... - "Haha, so what, do you want your lab coat?"  
Chell waved her hand and smiled no less coquettishly. Sometimes GLaDOS wondered, among other things, whether something more _reasonable_ than the girl showed was hidden in this semi-childish mind.  
"In any case... What are you planning to do with this potato? I can cook it for you. Or let it grow up under normal conditions".  
The girl stroked the potato and put it in the palm of the AI. Test subject's fingers brought out: " _Grow up_ ".

Chell's new hobby again interfered with the experiments with the portalgun, but this time GLaDOS even started to like a new business. Doing something with Chell, introducing mute randomness everywhere, was more fun.  
The AI was present, as usual, in the form of a screen and a camera, acting only as an instructor and commander. The girl joyfully worked as a sapper shovel, loosening the earth and digging potatoes.  
"Do not dig too deep, and do not cut your hand on the sharp edge of the shovel. So, now put the root crop there and bury it. I already turned on the heating here, later I will add automatic turning on and off the light and watering..."  
Chell no longer listened to AI, in any way moving the pots with a wide smile of the child who first saw Lego.  
"By the way, winter is coming", - casually noticed AI. - "So consider yourself lucky. Defrost, metaphorically speaking, your old project, haha".


	24. Graphomania

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, in the original there were many significant grammatical and spelling errors. Of course, they should stay in translation, lol. Therefore, in the text with italics, ALL errors are intentional.

One day, Chell suddenly asked in sign language how to spell the word "insidious."  
"I n s i d i o u s", - GLaDOS clearly dictated, immediately shook her head and asked, - "Hey, what for?.."  
Chell answered with her usual mysterious smile. AI just sighed.  
"Secrets for secrets. As if it was you who controlled everything here, and not me".

About a week after this strange question, one morning, Chell ran early for tests. AI was about to go about her business when her attention was drawn to a notebook with a bright yellow sticker on the cover.  
On the sticker it was written: " _Story_!!". Below the following was written in plain pencil: " _not done yet_ ". GLaDOS chuckled - apparently, test subject could not come up with anything more intimidating.  
"Common sense forbid she write something at least remotely reminiscent of the contents of her _magazine_ ", - she placed one of the small white panels next to it like a little table, took a notebook in her hand and opened it.  
Inside, as expected, was a text written in black gel pen. GLaDOS was surprised that Chell didn’t smear ink all over the page, given how diligently she used to crawl her hand while writing. AI shot the notorious "third eye" in the direction of test subject, which with the help of portals enthusiastically poured gels on the walls in the chamber number 289, and began to read.

" _ **FIRST!**_

 _Once there was a robot. The robot was a princes and her name was GLaDOS_ (AI's name was written out in the text especially carefully and emphasized by a wavy line). _~~Se~~ She lived alone in a large-large castle that was a ~~larob~~ l a b o r a t o r y. Once in her big, big castle in the ~~basement?..~~ in the room the test subdject woke up. Aha and her name was Subdject. The princes gave her cool gun and sent her to solve all sorts of tests and it was cool. The gun made a cool “shoo” and cool portals, which ar done like this: you shoot one portal onto a wal or flor in front of you, and the othe into another place, only into white wall and enter blue, and exit orange and vice versa! Cool!  
The Princes made rooms for SUbdject for three hours, maybe six, for a long time, and then she got angry and stoped. And then she almost burned the Subdject but she eskaped becose the party was not true ;( And hurts to be burnd.  
Then in short the Subdject wolked and wolked for a long time and wolked along the complex for a loooong time. Becuase Complex IS big. Real! And when she was walking the Princes who was Robot often called her back to her, because she probabl was bored by herself. But turrets cannot pas test s, it is not interestin to pass with them. They have no hands, they can’t keep a gun with cool "shoo".  
Then the Subdject came to the Princes and they tolked. That is, only the robot spoke becase she speaks cool and in jeneral she is cool! But for some reson she was very angry with Subdject. probably the party was real but the sUbdject didnt come and Princes was ofended. Then Subdject dropped the violet-eyed thing into the desrtroyer, and the Princes was completely angry ;( and began to shoot misiles at the Subdject. Hurt! And then the Subdject shot another “shoo” with a gun and beat the Princess akcidenally some times, and then droped a few round things into Desrtroyer becase she also bekame angry with the Princes. Becase why did the Robot Princes killed her?  
And then she akcidenally killed the Princesss._"

Video camera No. 83 made a crack. GLaDOS shot it a fleeting glance, - the camera was shot down by a wormhole, as predicted, - dryly ordered Chell not to do this anymore, licked her lips that didn’t need it, and quickly returned to reading test subject's "masterpiece".

" _ **THEN!**_

 _Then a lot, a lot of time passed, a looooooooooooooooooooooot, really! Maybi a quintillion_ (the word "quintillion" was written unexpectedly correctly). _And the Subdject somewere woke up again. She didnt undestand anything but some men talked to her and she walked around the room and looked at the pictoore there and went to bed again because she was tired again.  
And then THEN! Again wok up only for some reson it was very dark and the man did not speak. And the casle seemed to be broken completly, there were even all kind of plants and birds, but the Princess does not like birds. And then came ~~drag~~ ~~wiza~~ **I n s i d i o u s!** core which is round ball like the one that threw the subdject into the desrtroyer. His Wetley's name. At first he was cool, and then it seems like crazy. But that later. At first it was cool.  
He said that the castle brok completely becase the Princes died and they had to leave the castle somewere else.  
Subdject with Wetley went and weeent and weeeent and she again found a gun with "shoo"! Cool With portals! Yes.  
Then they wolked on and faund the room in which the Princes lived befor. Subdject saw the Princess and she became sad. She could have ~~k~~ hugged the Princess, but becase of Witley was shy. It was nesesary to hug, but it was sad. Well she didnt hug her.  
Then they akcidenally revived the Princes! It is COOL! The Princes was probably angry with Subdject, althou she did not qite undestand. Likly if she was angry she woold kill, but she did not kill. But she was very Glad that the Princess was alive! She is a Robot but robots dont die, they just breake. But still,felt sorry for the Princes. Then the Princes almost broke Witley, and again sent Subdject to the tests to pass new ones! Very new! There the panels flew and the celin lowered. In fact was a little scary what if the Princes woold kill her again? Well, the Princes sad that she wants the Subdject to pass the tests until death, well. Then Wetley came and did t r i c k! he let Subdject escape and they ran and_"

At this point, Chell’s extremely detailed autobiography was interrupted. GLaDOS flipped through the notebook three times, fully aware of the meaninglessness of its actions, but feeling the thirst for continuation and the need to do something about it.  
"What a... graphomaniac", - AI grinned, lovingly stroking the cover of the notebook and preparing four cameras at once for the sake of photocopies. Just for science reasons... The effect of tests on test subjects’ thirst for creation, yes. That is how she substantiated it for herself.  
And at the same time GLaDOS took up the setup of cameras in the control room. In case Chell wants to hide the notebook.


	25. Facts

Once GLaDOS turned on an antenna that caught wi-fi, and, blowing dust off the search engines that it had not used for a long time, began to look for interesting "facts" about people.  
"Ten percent of the brain? What nonsense", - she muttered to herself, rocking Chell's bed with the movements of the floor tiles. - "Moss on the north side... Drivel. Vaccines cause... Wow. Just wow. People really left so much unnecessary information husk. Ten hugs... Hmm".

Chell returned from the test, as usual, smeared with blue gel, immediately took off her shirt, boots and pants and headed for the shower.  
"Hey!" - AI called her. - "Well, be so kind as to collect it all and throw it in the laundry basket yourself".  
Chell snorted, but began to pick up the scattered clothes from the floor. GLaDOS, meanwhile, placed a hand on her own shoulder and was transported to the main body, trying to do it so that test subject did not notice.

On leaving the shower, Chell unexpectedly stumbled upon the AI herself. Test subject was dumbfounded as she gazed at the shifted pedestal, now equipped with small wheels on the sides.  
"Movement is life", - commented on such changes GLaDOS and spread her arms to the sides. Yes, the AI now had a second arm. In addition, she completed the body a little more, to the level “under the chest”, and a thick black cable emerged from the junction of the neck with the back from behind, going somewhere to the ceiling. - "This is a new series, Beta v. 0.2.5. Added the mobility of the body... Wheels and wire, in short. This is just the beginning, that's when I will understand... That is, when I _will develop_ more powerful antennas for myself and finish the program that reproduces the human gait..."  
Chell had recovered from her surprise by then, squeaked happily and gripped the AI unexpectedly tightly. GLaDOS expected some of this reaction and, not without pleasure, hugged test subject back.  
"Yes, that means that soon... I will be able to _walk_ with you".

After encouraging five episodes of "Chip and Dale", before dinner, after brushing her teeth, and before bed, Chell received a few more hugs. The girl was surprised, a little confused, but overall she felt happier than ever. In the meantime, GLaDOS was deciding for herself whether she liked hugging and what effect the hug would have on test subject.  
"Do you know that a person needs about ten hugs a day to feel good?" - noticed GLaDOS. - "That is, it says so in one unscientific source. We need to use this statement as a guess for the next series of experiments. I will need to watch you for a week... Maybe two".

For the next two to three weeks, Chell received ten to fourteen stable hugs daily. Unbeknownst to herself, the AI gradually increased the duration of hugs from five seconds to five minutes, and as a result, they spent Sunday evening watching "Fried Green Tomatoes" together, just holding hands. Chell even cried a little towards the end - silently, of course, although she did not understand all the conversations of the film. GLaDOS stopped herself not to offer her the handkerchief with her free hand, and silently wiped test subject's face with the manipulator.  
"Time to measure your data change over the week", - the AI uttered an unusually distant voice, opening the elevator to the medical bay. The inner feeling of herself, too _vivid_ , beating for some time now somewhere under some useful devices hidden under a soft pad in what ordinary women would have breasts (solely because GLaDOS was looking for ways to avoid sharp corners in the structure), scared AI, and, trying to realize the Something that was piling on her, GLaDOS involuntarily stopped intoning.  
Chell glanced at her worriedly and took her other hand. The AI sighed and looked at test subject as if seeing her for the first time.  
"Oh yes. No. I mean, I'm fine. Seriously, go ahead, I need to get some fresh data".

As expected, Chell's psychological performance improved, even though the AI hadn't even reduced the number of sarcastic jokes.  
"When human sources of knowledge turn out to be useful, I even begin to believe that humans could create me", - noticed GLaDOS as she took Chell's hand as she exited the elevator to the medical bay. - "Your levels of serotonin and dopamine production have increased, and, it seems, increased stress resistance. At least compared to what it was".  
Test subject nodded and hugged the part of the AI that was available to her. GLaDOS put her hands on the girl's back as usual, but then Chell wriggled out of her arms and asked with gestures: " _Do you want to sleep next to me?_ "  
"Heh, again your human troubles?" - The AI waved her hand. - "First, I am not sleeping. Unless you count the battery recharging as sleep. Secondly, I still won't be able to lie down. I have no legs, and a cable... Let's say I am not yet autonomous in relation to the complex".  
The girl bit her lip and lowered her head. The AI caught a nonexistent breath.  
"But, but don't be upset, huh. There is nothing to be upset about here. You don't worry about the bed breaking under you, do you?"  
The AI was about to head back to the bridge, but suddenly returned to Chell and hugged test subject tightly, maybe even a little too tightly. Once again, since the manipulator grabbed the girl by the hand, carried away into the cold space emptiness, GLaDOS regretted the human body and warmth.  
"One day, Ch... Chell. Someday".


	26. Parental control

Once, a system of reinforced fiber optic cables, which the AI did not have enough time to repair, was finally repaired. No, she had a connection with the Internet before, but now she has provided a network for all personal computers in the complex. Of course, she did not plan to inform the girl about this, at least right now.  
"So, are you ready for the water test?" - Chell nodded bravely, shifting from foot to foot. Oddly enough, GLaDOS decided to introduce updated tests when a snowstorm raged outside the complex. The girl spun from time to time - the new test suit, covering the whole body, tight-fitting, white and orange, almost a diving suit, was very unusual, but this did not detract from the Chell's spirit of adventure. - "Fine. For now, let's do without mechanical sharks. It's good that you learned how to swim during your vacation".

The test looked something like this: a half-flooded camera, several platforms, including those with buttons, bounded by small bumpers, and an innovation - balls with a small cut on one side so that they can be fixed on the buttons.  
"Portals, of course, will not work", - noticed GLaDOS. - "The portal device cannot be wetted... For now. That's why I didn't give it to you. Everything here will depend on your agility and speed of reaction. And the ability to swim, of course. Maybe I'll add a couple of floating turrets later".

***

While Chell was rubbing herself with a towel (forcibly), the AI scolded her with a very displeased look using the screen. GLaDOS was afraid the girl would splash.  
"Three hours! It took you three hours to complete the test! Most of them dived from platforms! Honestly, you are not behaving like the oldest person on Earth, but like a small child! Even your lips turned blue!"  
Chell waved her hands furiously, gesturing: " _But it was fun_ ".  
"No matter how warm the water is, you can't sit in it twenty-four by seven. You're not a fish!"  
" _But it was FUN_ ".  
"Fun is fun, but if you catch a cold again, you will have to curtail the water test program indefinitely! It seemed to me that you do not like to be sick".  
Chell pouted out her lips that were really blue, but she stopped arguing. Emboldened, GLaDOS decided to take a chance.  
"Plus, if you pass these tests well and obey, then I can give you a new reward. Since scientific interest cannot bribe you. Okay?"  
The girl shrugged her shoulders. AI interpreted this as "yes".

Further experiments went much better. After a week of experiments, having dried the girl with automatic dryers almost to the point of crunching (from fear of catching a cold), GLaDOS took her to a PC in a room adjacent to the control room. Once upon a time, a scientist sat in it, who was supposed to monitor the state of the system that controlled the complex.  
He was one of the first to choke.  
"I promised you a reward for successfully passing the water tests and obeying in the process. Quite frankly, being a whale two days ago didn't sound like good behavior, but I can close my eyes to that. Sit", - GLaDOS rolled an orange chair to the computer desk. Chell sat up, not without apprehension, staring at the AI, then at the dark, convex screen. - "It is old", - explained GLaDOS, remotely turning on the computer. - "Very. But the computer is working - I take very good care of the electronics in Aperture. I'm thinking of switching to LCDs, but while these are working - why not?"  
A logo in the form of a circle made up of triangles lit up on the screen. Then there was an almost empty desktop with the same logo on the splash screen.  
Chell squinted at the AI in confusion.  
"Humanity once created a vast knowledge base, for good and bad things", - GLaDOS began, leaning over test subject's shoulder and conjuring up the administrator passwords. It was a pleasure to use new hands, not remote control. - "The Internet. People made it for the good, like many others things, and then filled it up with their... Garbage. Both mental and material - in the form of the same pictures, videos, music, and so on. Not all, but many. Even a large mass of humanity. However, this almost does not matter to us, because I am going to acquaint you with another layer of human culture".  
GLaDOS opened a website with the Aperture logo in the upper left corner in a browser. A number of children's educational games were highlighted on the page.  
Chell was even more surprised.  
"This, oddly enough, also helps mental development. Our scientists have proven this too. Although many outsiders, including politicians, disagreed, you can't go against the facts. By the way, I made the site myself, a couple of days ago. And most of the games are not mine. But since their developers will not be able to sue me anyway, we will not pay attention to it".  
Chell moved a mouse, following the arrow on the screen, and immediately chose a puzzle game.  
"Just keep in mind that I have set parental controls. Two hours a day with my permission, no more. I know people, it is easy for you to get used to even such simple games".


	27. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is the joke I used to like very much, huh

Once, when winter was raging outside with might and main, and the head of the complex again took up a full-scale repair of the roof - she just seriously did not count on such an amount of precipitation - Chell, left to herself, again went for a walk around the complex in search of adventure. For some reason she could not find a room with disks, but she came across a new wing, which she had not reached before. The sign on the door read " _Residential Complex_ ".  
Intrigued, Chell began to pick the lock.

Oddly enough, this really turned out to be a residential wing - either for local scientists, or for staff... Surely not for the test subjects, because as far as Chell remembered, it was almost completely destroyed when she woke up. In addition, inside, in a small corridor with a bunch of doors along the walls, as if there were no cameras at all.  
The girl tried to jerk one of the doors. In general, this did not make much sense, since the doors had digital panels on the side, but, oddly enough, something hissed inside the room, and the door smoothly slid into the wall. The light blinked and came on, but as the light tried to turn on, Chell felt the walls seemed to be _less green_.  
In general, the room looked habitable, as if they had left it only an hour ago... If you don't notice the dust, of course. Although the dust was somehow not too much.  
The girl walked around the room, touched all the surfaces that she could reach, even jumped to the lamp and knocked on the cracked screen framed with white paint, which replaced the windows that lived here at such a depth. The apartment also contained a bed, a wardrobe, a TV, a picture with mountains, just like in Chell's former room, and a door to the bathroom.  
The girl opened the closet. To her surprise, there were no lab coats, but instead of them a set of warm winter clothes hung on the hangers, under which there were some strange boots on the floor - heavy in appearance, and from the pocket of a jacket with silvery, albeit dull stripes on the sleeves, mittens stuck out.  
Chell, who had never seen any clothes other than the one GLaDOS had given her and the robes of the scientists, was overjoyed and immediately pulled the winter set off the hanger. She decided not to touch the boots yet, they looked very strange, but in order to try on the insulated pants, she still had to take off the spring boots.  
The pants and jacket were too big for her, but the mittens fell just on the arm. Chell spun in front of her reflection on the cracked screen, admiring herself, and clapped her hands. The sensation of hitting one fur mitten on another made the girl delighted with children. The mittens were soft and cozy and warm, especially in this wing, where it was a little cooler than in the inhabited parts of the complex. Chell also liked the jacket with silver stripes, but the pants slipped off her a little, so she decided to leave them in the room.

"For the sake of entire scientific community", - breathed out GLaDOS, - "where did you get it?"  
Chell smiled, waving the sleeves of her unbuttoned jacket. The AI quickly scanned the winter kit and sighed, calming down.  
"All rubbish again. You are incorrigible. But seriously, where did you get that?"  
Chell thought, and pulled off her jacket and mittens to indicate with her fingers, " _Residential Wing down to the northwest_ ".  
"Ah, this place..." - GLaDOS mentally connected to the wing and grinned. - "Former wing of unscientific staff. Cleaners, electricians, and so on. You know, I injected a neurotoxin there too. You are lucky that it has run out over the years".  
Test subject carefully tucked the jacket into the dresser and showed GLaDOS the mittens.  
"Wow, are they still whole? Surely the materials for them were also developed here, otherwise they would decay. Are you cold or what? Although... There is no heating in that wing... Alright, I let you keep them for yourself. Maybe, along with water tests, I'll introduce snow ones".  
The girl plopped down on the bed, pulled on her mittens and clapped her hands. GLaDOS involuntarily smiled at her charge's childish foolishness.  
"Do you know you can use them to generate some electricity? They need to rub hard against each other, and, roughly speaking, an electric spark will appear. Just be careful not to hurt yourself after that".  
Chell grunted thoughtfully and began to rub her hand in hand. The light in the control room dimmed imperceptibly, and after a few seconds, test subject squeaked with delight, seeing sparks flickering between her palms.  
"You see?" - GLaDOS crossed her arms across her chest with a slight grin. - "Static electricity. If you combed your hair more often, you would have met it earlier".

***

Once again GLaDOS, doubting her own tastes, left the girl with a choice. This time, Chell chose from eight images of snow-white female legs, the differences between which may have been noticeable to the robot's eye, but the subject would hardly be able to distinguish one option from another in a normal situation.  
"Come on, decide already", - The AI impatiently touched her shoulder with the manipulator. Chell pretended to be as pensive as possible and pointed at one of the drawings at random. - "Are you sure? One hundred percent ?.. Well, okay, option number two. Now go mind your own business".  
GLaDOS turned her face away from subject to several large screens that she began installing next to the bed just a couple of days ago. She didn’t explain it to Chell, and the girl didn’t ask, but if she asked, the AI would have gotten away with trying to use her eyes as a person, not a machine.  
Although in fact GLaDOS, of course, could work with the complex, simply projecting everything necessary for herself on the inner side of the eyelids, but...  
She couldn't bring herself to keep her eyes closed for long when Chell was in the control room. She was even involuntarily drawn to drive closer to her test subject, but the head of the complex so far coped with this better.  
Therefore, the AI preferred to display all the necessary information on the touch screens. Standing with her back to Chell was much easier.

Meanwhile, the girl again took up the mittens. She still liked the way a spark jumped between her palms during friction, and she kept thinking what it would be like to touch with mittens at that moment and what would come of it. And just then GLaDOS very successfully turned to her with a cable sticking out of her back, which was framed by black metal stripes...  
The AI suddenly shot through an electrical discharge that in a wildly strange way stimulated artificial pleasure centers at once in all places where GLaDOS had installed them. The head of the complex involuntarily twitched and uttered a drawn-out groan with electric sparks in her voice: " _Whoaaah!_ ".  
Chell quickly pulled her hands away. AI spun dashingly on her pedestal, still shaking slightly from the electric shock, and exclaimed a little thinner than usual, - "Was that a static d-d-discharge?" - test subject smiled guiltily and nodded. GLaDOS shrugged her shoulders, bringing herself into her usual inner balance, gritted her teeth and muttered, - "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again".  
Chell threw up her hands, showing with all her appearance that she had no idea what would come out of her little "experiment". AI facepalmed for the second time in her life.  
"You could actually kill me with this", - she was lying. Indeed, the reaction to a small shock in the back was too unusual to allow test subject to do so too often. - "I know, of course, that killing is your hobby", - GLaDOS reached out to take the mittens from Chell, - "but kill someone twi... _Aahhh!_ ".  
The skin on the artificial hands, of course, did not conduct electricity, but the sensors built into them, which were brought out to the surface of this very skin (so AI could be able to sense something), turned out to be very conductive, and GLaDOS again felt an unusually, frighteningly pleasant discharge. The AI jerked her hand back, as did Chell, startled by such a reaction. For several seconds, while the first was powerlessly shaking, and the second was pulling the mittens off her hands and hiding behind her back, they looked at each other with incomprehension. Finally, GLaDOS was able to calm her body and, just in case, moved the pedestal away from test subject.  
"Damn these things!" - she was angry. - "Burn them! Throw in acid! Anything, just so I don't see them!"


	28. Is this the real life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i heard Bohemian rhapsody a lot while wrote it

Once the powerful automatic burners in the workshop stopped working, and a bare, snow-white female leg rose above the work table with an anatomical shape carefully cut out in it. At the same time, a bright yellow light came on and the Announcer's voice, left only for announcements, proclaimed: " _Loading is complete_ ".  
The black cable clicked.

Chell was awakened by a loud rustle of panels. Usually minor adjustments in the control room did not bother her, but this time a vague excitement was added to the noise.  
The girl narrowed her eyes - the room was completely dark, but it seemed to her that something was wrong. She reached out to where the top of GLaDOS usually stood, but felt for something softer.  
Two bright yellow eyes and two multi-colored antenna tops lit up, illuminating the bed and the slightly white face of the android.  
"Goodnight", - the AI chuckled, and the room light flashed entirely. Test subject stared in shock at GLaDOS's fully completed body, from head to toe finally as human as possible. In the end, the head of the complex abandoned the metric "90-60-90" parameters, having found out that this was not very convenient for the most effective internal structure of the android body, and adjusted the figure for her needs in favor of the functional. As a result, the hips and legs became a little more "plump" for the sake of a more durable musculoskeletal system, and the shoulders had to be spread a little wider in order to accommodate a more powerful battery in the chest. However, the AI noticed that first of all Chell's gaze went over intimate places, more precisely, in those places where a person should have them, and clucked her tongue in displeasure.  
"This magazine of yours... Honestly, I'll burn it or accidentally throw it into the acid. I have no secondary sexual characteristics, woman!"  
Chell suddenly blushed, smiled, jabbed a finger into the thick silicone lining on GLaDOS's chest and pulled her hand away with a laugh. The AI frowned deliberately and crossed her arms.  
"For your information, it looks like a breast only because I need to protect important body parts inside the chest in case of an accidental fall. These are only two large layers of silicone, no more. Do not flatter yourself".  
GLaDOS turned away from the girl, as if offended, and walked gracefully along the control room, supposedly checking how her legs were obeying her. To the AI's great delight, she noted through cameras on the ceiling of the room that Chell sat on the bed, watching the head of the complex with an attentive and enthusiastic gaze. Moreover, it seems that test subject was watching not so much the gait, but rather the snow-white, with barely noticeable seams, perfectly shaped legs and, almost the same as the upper ones, protective silicone layers in some places below.  
Sensors on the shoulders and under the dorsal cable connector picked up something pleasant that vaguely resembled goosebumps that GLaDOS could imagine.   
"You have become too absent-minded", - a little arrogantly noticed the AI, going back and sitting down on the bed. A stream of new tactile information rushed into the electronic brain at once, but GLaDOS only vexedly brushed it aside for a while in order to process some _other_ sensations.  
Chell held out her hand carefully. GLaDOS hesitated for a moment and extended her shoulder.  
"You can touch me, you can. Only without frills and vulgarity, test subject".  
The girl smiled with her lips and pressed against the cool side of the AI, hugging her.

"The cable has to be left for now", - GLaDOS began in a dry, instructive tone, placing her hand on the girl's waist against her own tone and even hugging her a little tighter. - "So I can't go to bed yet. I can only lie on my side, but to get up, I have to lie on my back, and... In general, night observation is canceled for now. And sleep tests too".  
Chell made a weird rumbling sound and pressed her lips to GLaDOS's soft shoulder. The AI seemed to be shocked again.  
"So what did I say about kissing?"  
Chell smiled apologetically and rubbed her cheek against the kissing spot, affectionately like a kitten. GLaDOS involuntarily closed her eyes, concentrating entirely on this warm sensation.  
"Maybe... Maybe a little later. When I... When I make experiments for this. You can go to sleep again, so be it, I'll sit next to you for a little".


	29. Fetish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super lost in time, is that really the end of November???

Once, turning the pages of the only magazine that interested her, the only human being in the complex suddenly looked closely at one of the photos. It showed a tall blonde in a nurse outfit that matched the magazine's theme, but that wasn't what Chell was attracted to in the photo. The girl looked at the model's legs, almost covered by a miniature white skirt, dressed in snow-white, slightly tight stockings and bright red shoes. In all this stereotyped image for role-playing games, the girl was most attracted by model's legs.  
Chell thought, looking at the photo, smiled absently, furtively wiped the corner of her lips and looked sideways at GLaDOS, who was busy with some important scientific restructuring.  
Seeing how even the hints of the presence of secondary sexual characteristics in the AI act on Chell, the head of the complex decided to put on something. In general, of course, she did not need clothes, because GLaDOS could not freeze and was not particularly shy. But in order for test subject to stop looking at her, the AI sewed herself a lab coat of the right size from the materials she had developed - white, of course, in general, the color of the head of the complex itself, with a beautiful blue logo and the name "Aperture laboratories" on the chest and with a row of white buttons. Practical AI used buttons to train fine motor skills. However, the legs of GLaDOS with thin traces of seams at the folds were still visible, especially the beautifully shaped calves.  
Chell narrowed her eyes - from some distance it seemed to her that these were not seams, but stockings that merged with the AI skin in color.  
The girl chuckled.

"What? - GLaDOS looked around in response to a light jab in the shoulder. Subject handed her a magazine with an open picture of a nurse, ran her fingers over the picture of stockings and looked at the AI inquiringly. - What?.. No, I said that I would not watch this perversion with you. And I don’t want to see it at all".  
Chell shook her head and tapped the printed nice feet emphatically with the tip of her fingernail. The AI glanced at the photo with a disdainful look.  
"What? Legs? Hmm, we've seen better. Although this is all taste, of course... W-What, whait, do you like _these_ more?"  
Chell rolled her eyes and pushed the magazine under the very nose of the AI, pointing exclusively at the stocking.  
"Ahem... Stocking?" - guessed GLaDOS. - "Do you show me stocking?" - the girl nodded, gave her the magazine, happily plopped down on the floor and hugged the AI by the legs. GLaDOS' knees suddenly became weak. - "Um-m..." - her voice faltered, - "So what? Intend to wear a pair of s... S... Um?"  
Chell shrugged, stroked her dainty android knees affectionately, and pressed her cheek to them. GLaDOS once again fell into a stupor during the entire time of her acquaintance with the mute lunatic.  
"You-u-u", - the AI often breathed - more precisely, she imitated rapid breathing, which, oddly enough, recently also helped her calm down - shook her head and put her hand to her face, feeling how the sensors on her cheeks seemed to be heating up by themselves. - "What the hell... What are you doing again? Falling again into the depths of silent madness? Are you doing nonsense again? Honestly, I'm going to burn this magazine to hell!"  
Chell just smiled and gently touched her white knees with her lips. This AI could not endure, and so she wriggled out of the girl's hands and backed away from her, so much so that she almost stumbled over test subject's bed - however, her knees suddenly buckled, so the bed turned out to be nearby very in time, and GLaDOS sat on mattress.  
Chell hurriedly jumped to her feet, waved her arms and began to explain quickly with her fingers.  
" _Don't be afraid, don't be afraid_ ", - she said, looking straight into the eyes of the dumbfounded GLaDOS, - " _I just wanted to tell you that your legs are beautiful_ ".  
"And why would I... Why say it _that_ way?"  
" _You thought that yours are worse than in the picture, but they are the same, even more beautiful_ ".  
"I didn't think of anything like that", - snapped out GLaDOS, involuntarily covering her knees with her palms and thinking that she should have made a longer lab coat. - "I just didn't understand what you started talking about at all. Damn it, my cable will overheat because of your tricks!"  
" _I didn't mean to scare you_ ", - Chell lowered her shoulders apologetically, - " _legs are the most beautiful, especially knees_ ".  
"Hm", - the AI gasped with a stern look. The intense embarrassment gradually receded, cooling the facial sensors and leaving behind an inexplicable pleasure from such a simple compliment. - "Still. What did I say about kissing?"  
" _You said about shoulders_ ", - Chell protested.  
"I spoke in general", - GLaDOS frowned. With dignity, she straightened the hem of her coat and stood up. - "Somehow you sat around again. Last time, because of your long idleness, we adopted the Companion Cube! Get ready, I'll give you a couple more tests".

Despite the return to her external calmness, something inside the AI seemed to be burning. She was terribly pleased that Chell considered her legs the most beautiful, then incredibly ashamed that she did not control herself in response to the touch of test subject's lips on her knees. Also, the AI sincerely did not understand why from this gesture, of which Chell were no less strange before, the knee mechanisms suddenly weakened so much - albeit literally for a couple of minutes, but weakened after all! At that moment, GLaDOS tried with all her might to regain control of her own legs, and could not immediately.  
And this really scared her.  
"Fetishist, damn it!" - AI cursed to herself, once again opening and immediately closing several sites at once, some of which were devoted to stockings, some to strange human fetishes, and the rest to psychology. - "Damn her and these illogical, unreasonable humanity!"  
Suddenly, in the depths of long-term memory, in the darkest and most confined dusty corner files, the Announcer's whisper responded: " _Caroline deleted_ ".


	30. Ice rink

Once such frost struck outside that in one of the places most hastily patched up by GLaDOS, the roof broke down and collapsed into the complex, forming a rather large hole. Fortunately, only a piece of the minus first floor was damaged, where the administrative block that no one needed for a long time was located. But the sight itself seemed so funny to the AI that she decided to show it to Chell.   
"Don't even think about sneaking out now", - she admonished, wrapping test subject in a scarf with her own hands. Just in time, the AI suddenly found a wardrobe with winter clothes. - "At minus twenty degrees Celsius and four centimeters of precipitation, you will not go far, only get lost and freeze. And then you will die. I will be upset".  
Chell snorted and hugged the head of the complex. GLaDOS sighed and called the elevator.  
"Come on before I fix the roof".

Already through the glass doors of the elevator, Chell saw a mass of snow piled up on tables, cabinets and non-working computers. The girl was delighted. As soon as the doors opened, Chell plunged into the snow, took off her mitten and scooped up a handful with her hand. The cold seared on her hand amazed test subject.  
"Can I leave you alone for five minutes without you trying to self-destruct?" - the AI grumbled, following the girl through the cameras. She lifted Chell from the snowdrift with the help of manipulators, then lifted her off the floor. - "You will get sick again. Do you like being sick that much?"  
Chell shook her head and spread her arms to point at the snowy office in front of her.  
"Yes, it's snow. Have you never seen it? .. However, this may be. You rejoiced at the sea as if you had seen it for the first time. If you don’t undress, I’ll allow you to wander here".  
Chell nodded and was lowered back onto the snow. The girl began to wander between the tables, listening to the creak under her feet, deeply breathing in the frosty air and looking at the sky covered with grayish clouds.  
"Do you know how it snows?" - GLaDOS connected to one of the remote servers, searched for a bit, and played some quiet Christmas song in the administrative block. - "This is, in fact, frozen rain. A planet, orbiting past the Sun at a certain moment in time, normally deviates along its axis so that the Northern Hemisphere begins to warm up less... It gets colder, and snowflakes form in the clouds instead of water droplets".  
Chell listened intently to the AI, trying to visualize the water freezing into loose snow. She remembered one time she slipped on a path of light, and GLaDOS noted with a grin: "This bridge is made of solid light, not ice, as you might think. Be so kind, treat it more politely".  
Chell took off her mitten to ask a question. " _This is not ice_ ".  
"Ice..." - The AI stopped, suddenly illuminated by a couple of interesting thoughts. The second thought related to how to explain the difference in the formation of snow and ice to test subject, and therefore GLaDOS immediately voiced it, - "Generally. Snow is formed from small droplets, and ice from a large surface of water. Got it?"  
Chell nodded and scooped up the handful of snow again with the mitten.

This time GLaDOS completely dropped the self-improvement projects and focused on fixing the roof, so the repair was much better.  
Immediately after that, she removed all the sand from the still carefully guarded room with the beach, cleaned the water thoroughly, raised the level of the sealed floor a little and turned off the heating in the room.  
"Rise and shine", - she woke her test subject the next day. Chell, who was still sleepy, stretched, immediately shrank chilly and stared at the maliciously grinning robot with incomprehension. - "I have new entertainment for you. Since you may have never seen a real winter".  
With these words, she handed the girl the same winter set of clothes, and in addition to it - warm sports socks and strange-looking boots. For some reason, blades were attached to the sole of the boots.  
"Get dressed", - AI smiled mysteriously. - "I will help you with skates".

The transport platform brought the intrigued Chell to the former indoor sea. The girl sighed in admiration when she saw a smooth wide mirror of ice, a little covered with snow in the corners. GLaDOS painted the walls of the room with blue and white geometric shapes that formed strictly symmetrical patterns.  
"I spoil you too much", - said GLaDOS from the big screen on the wall. - "But since a person needs entertainment to maintain stable mental health, I can sacrifice a couple of test rooms for this".  
Chell carefully touched the ice with the toe of her skate - she barely managed to walk on them on a hard surface, and if, as the AI claimed, the ice is so slippery...  
The transport platform tilted, and the girl was pushed onto the ice. Chell, eyes round with surprise, rode across the ice.  
"Row with your feet!" - commanded GLaDOS, keeping a close eye on test subject. - "Left-right, left-right!"  
Chell tried to move her legs as the AI told her to, and eventually fell to her butt, shaken by silent laughter.  
"Damn you!" - GLaDOS couldn't help laughing too. - "Kindly learn how to ride, please, by the time I can get there".  
" _Soon?_ " - Chell's hands immediately asked. AI covered her lips with her hand, feeling that the smile did not want to leave her face.  
"Soon, soon".


End file.
